Friday, January 16, 2009

Tony Almeida Files Claim For Fantasy Baseball Winnings


We have just learned that before Tony Almeida “died” in Season 6, he was leading his Fantasy Baseball League. In fact, both Almeida and Curtis Manning finished in first and second place respectively, despite being killed. While Curtis remains dead, Tony Almeida has now put in a claim for the league’s cash winnings (approximately $300), which coincidentally fell to Jack Bauer’s third-place team (by operation of CTU’s very detailed “In Case of Death or Dismemberment” clause in the Fantasy league’s bylaws).

Almeida recounts his last memory of the fantasy league: “Just before I died, Bauer offered me Ryan Howard for Sabathia straight-up. I was about to accept the trade, but thankfully Christopher Henderson stabbed me with an overdose of hyoscine-pentathol. Phew, he saved my season!”

League Commissioner Milo Pressman could not be reached to render a decision because he is also dead (still). League bylaws designate that the Los Angeles CTU director will make decisions on behalf of the Commissioner in such an event. But because CTU is no longer in existence, there is no official designate.

Currently the Secretary of Homeland Security is considering the matter. We will update you as this situation develops further.

4 comments:

tcdoj said...

Hahah, Adam, great job man. Your posts are always hilarious. I also appreciate you commenting on my blog. I really enjoy how different our blogs are and think it's great that we still come back to the same, magical place - 24.

Rickey Henderson said...

Wow, Milo's Moneymakers really shat the bed last season...

Will the 09 league have a slot available for the C.T.U. Cougars? Rickey wants in!

AmyV said...

Until I read this post, I hadn't realized how much I had really, truly, honestly missed TJS.

Adam said...

@Jackster- Your blog is excellent- you're a very good writer. Thank you for being a fellow lunatic 24-fan!

@Rickey- Ya know, we could do a fantasy league and get each of us to take on a 24 persona. And at the end of the season, we can announce "WALT CUMMINGS IS THE CHAMP!" or something to that effect. We'll talk this one out...

@Amy- thank you, that means a lot to me... alright it's getting too nice here. Somebody scream they're in a flank-2 position or something!

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