24 Season 7: Movie Poster Parody- CVJ

CHLOE VERSUS JANIS! CVJ! OMG! LOLZ!

Special thanks go to Kasia for giving me the idea!

This one is for Dr. Alice- here's the original poster for AVP2 (Aliens v. Predators):

24 Season 7: 5AM-6AM Quick Review

And finally, Aaron Pierce engages the situation.

I'm going to start off first with Aaron Pierce because we (me and you, my readers) were insane enough to entertain the thought of Agent Pierce being involved in Jonas Hodges' murder. Actually, Pierce is the person who's going to crack the whole darned thing wide open with his intimate knowledge of White House recording devices! And with the help of the former "Bourbon General" himself, Ethan Kanin!

Let's all of us take a deep breath, step back and really look inside ourselves and ask "What the Hell is wrong with you?!" Agent Pierce turning bad? NEVER! Pierce is the gold standard. If he's tarnished, we each ought to get a pair of white Nikes and join a suicide pact cult tomorrow. Pierce is an evergreen hero. This stuff with Tony has us all mixed up and paranoid. Go back to sleeping with both eyes closed, we're safe with Pierce.

I guess the real highlight for everyone was Jack unleashing a vicious beating on Tony- captured after the subway attack was thwarted. It was a fantastic scene- excellent acting and it revealed absolutely nothing about Tony's ultimate endgame. I know some people (ahem-Rickey) have decided they know what Almeida's up to. And I believe those are the same people (ahem-Rickey) who were early adopters of HD-DVD players and the 39¢ postage stamp as well (I have no idea if Rickey's done either, but let's make it sound that way).

And while I love Chloe- I'm sorry but her scenes tonight with Janis were pretty lame. The actors did the best with the material, but it was utterly pointless to hear them whine at one another. I think the writers misread our reactions to things like that- thinking they were throwing us a bone by having a catfight between the two super-geeks. No, not with 3 hrs (and less!) left in the season. The time for cranky-fueled humor has long-since past. Thumbs down on that stuff.

And Kim has predictably become the target of evildoers. Her instincts were right, she was being watched, but unfortunately it was by the most ineffectual, small-bladdered FBI agent on the planet (assigned by Jack to protect her from the real bad guys!). While he's going #1, Special Agent Whizzer gets ambushed by the guy from those UPS commercials. Ouch.
In the end, I was not blown away by this episode. There's something missing from these past 4 episodes, and I have a hard time identifying the problem. I go into next week's 2-hour finale with a degree of trepidation.

24 Season 7: 4AM-5AM Quick Review

We all know Jonas Hodges wasn't an organ donor. But was his new alias "Robert Tippet" a generous soul? It may not matter now, as Hodges/Tippet's organs are now spread about the parking area at FBI HQ. Oh, Jonas- I had hoped you would be back next season, causing trouble from a 6' X 9' at Leavenworth. And all as a result of Olivia Taylor putting out the fastest "contract" to kill someone in the history of... ever?! Or is there one more mole left in Season 7? Hmmm... I wonder (ahem- Janis). Either way, they did ya wrong, fella.

It was, unfortunately, another set-up show (3 in a row by my count). I think that the momentum of Tony's "evil" turn has disappeared somewhat. And we learned of an evil cabal last week to not see or hear from any of those new villains at all tonight. That's a little bit of a letdown.

Let's give high praise to Mary Lynn Rajskub and Kiefer Sutherland for a very well-acted scene at the start of the episode- where Chloe learns Jack is terminally ill. Those two have been working together so long that they really connected onscreen. I find these honest character moments refreshing, and thankfully Manny Coto and Brannon Braga didn't overwrite this exchange. The actors know these characters better than anyone else- let them do their work.

On the other hand- I think Jack's interaction with the imam later on was a little overdone. Jack's on edge- he's dying, he's sweating buckets, I get that he's going to lose his already short temper. But the way he went about manhandling and screaming at the imam was not wholly true to Jack's character in my opinion. It seemed like the writers wanted to revisit the theme of this season's first episode- namely Jack's willingness to punch a nun to get an answer about terrorist activity. Alright, that was Jack 20 hours ago- but in the world of "24" we treat that as ancient history, right? I would have been more impressed by Jack not going the stereotypical route and using different tactics. Like not yelling for no apparent reason.

Now, next week- holy cow, we're in for some real drama. SPOILERS from here on out: Jack catches Tony! And Jack threatens to shoot him on the spot to get this thing done. Now, my friends at AlmeidaIsGod.com have constructed a theory that Tony is going it alone and is still fighting to stop terrorists, albeit with wretched and horrific tactics (which the US Government could never endorse officially). That theory may still hold true... nothing has precluded it from happening yet. And we may see the classic "bad guy" takes Jack as a "hostage" gag, with Jack and Tony working together (one last time?) to stop evildoers worldwide! That would be a real "redemption" for this season. Let's hope it works out that way.

Dear Chloe: The 24 Season 7 Advice Column

Welcome, loyal readers, to a new edition of "Dear Chloe"-- the snarkiest advice column this side of the Potomac. This week we delve into inner fears- professional and personal. Chloe O'Brian is never short on an opinion, so let's see how she deals with this week's neurotic letters:


Dear Chloe,

It's been a rough day for me: I've totally slept with a complete loser, my daddy got shot up in some deli, some dude tried to poke my eyes out with a knife and my Mom is completely not listening to me when I tell her "Don't put that creepo in the Witness Protection Program!" Argh!

I know it's really self-centered of me to be going on like this, but I'm really bummed about so much right now. I've totally got this great job in the family business but it's like a complete waste of time if nobody's going to do what I tell them, ya know? Usually, I'd just call up some friends and hit the mall, but it's 4AM right now and even online shopping can't save me from my doldrums.

And then there's my secret crush. My psych professor at Brown told me once that "Love is being stupid together." Of course, he said this as he was making a pass at me, but the thing is, there's this guy that's completely older and not my type, but when he looks at me, I kinda like what I see behind his eyes. He'd never make the first move, that's for certain. And I think he drives this old Buick... but still, every time I see him, I have to run back to my office and play Liz Phair's "Why Can't I"-- I know, I've got it bad.

Please help me make sense of it all!

-Mademoiselle at 1600

Dear 1600,

I drafted a full response to your letter, but some faulty server wiped out my whole database, and I don't have time to rewrite it at the moment. So, here's the short version: If I were you, I'd shut my mouth, close my legs and go back to the sorority house.


Dear Chloe,

I'm a patriot, I tell you! When George Washington fought the Redcoats at Trenton, do you know what he needed more than the blizzard to help him win? Shoes and guns! At every moment in our great nation's history, there's always been a group that has equipped it's great soldiers with the tools necessary to overwhelm its enemies. While the French are handing out wheels of cheese to their boys, I'm giving the American military bullets that can turn corners! I only buy American- American-made darts, American Chinese food, American scotch (we call it bourbon). And I only allow my picture to be taken in front of the Stars and Stripes.

Well, a fine day it has been for this patriot- I was accused of insurrection by some dizzy broad who's working as a temp in the Oval Office. I also had to kick a bunch of mouth-breathing Feds off my property and now I sit in some hospital being told I have to betray my cause. That being said, I get a 1,000 acre ranch out of it, two SUVs and some free lawn service if I play my cards right. Maybe this country isn't so bad after all.

But where are the real patriots? Does anyone else know that the Second Amendment gives me the right to bear 50 surface-to-surface missiles?!? And where's my damn applesauce and morphine? I'm dying over here!

-Stark, Raving Mad

Dear Stark,

I re-read your letter twice to see if I could find any reference to the Road Runner. You obviously love gadgets. I love tech stuff too. But dude, seriously- you gotta look into buying Japanese. Do you have a media player or are you still rocking out to the gramophone? Quit acting so patriotic-- we've stopped making cool shit back in the 70s. Maybe if we spent less time producing overpriced bombs and focused a little more on consumer electronics, we'd be better off? When you get that ranch, I want you to take some time off from the war-mongering and look into inventing something useful. Is the Slanket the best we can do? My husband seems to think so!


Dear Chloe,

I hate you.

-Janis Gold

Dear Janis,

Get over it, bitch.

-Chloe

24 Season 7: The Jack Bauer Rant on Grimace [UPDATED]

I have to admit, I wasn't happy with the prior version of this video. So, I reworked the concept to what I originally planned- Jack Bauer v. Grimace (no CG Jawas included). Enjoy!

24 Season 7: Sneak Preview of Our Next Video

Probably coming tomorrow morning at the latest...

24 Season 7: 3AM-4AM Quick Review

Evil Tony Watch 2009: Yeah, Tony is still evil.

As for the rest of the episode, it was actually pretty bad. I've defended this show consistently this season. So, for me to be left unimpressed as I was means that something is definitely amiss in the writer's room of "24."

I think my biggest gripe from tonight was that the big reveal of the conspiracy at work bored me. So, these defense contractors all buddied up and decided "You know what would be good for business? Terror! War! Now, let's get to manufacturing some of that stuff so we can become rich!" This is like soda companies getting together with snack manufacturers and saying "Let's up the salt content on those chips! That'll show those asshole Americans!" People, we're getting a 5th grade-level lesson in economics (supply and demand-- damn that gets complicated, I know!).

And then there's Jack Bauer's rapid descent into madness. Seeing our fearless hero go apeshit on Janis Gold was fun, but then it morphed into unintentional comedy when Jack kept saying "President Palmer." Sadly, I was excited for a half a second, thinking "David Palmer is alive! He's coming back! YAY!" And then the moment passed...

Chloe O'Brian makes her unexciting return this episode as well. It was good to see our favorite snark-beast in action, but she had little to do except remind us that 1) Bill Buchanan died and 2) President Palmer is dead. Thanks, doll- pick up your sizable paycheck on the way out, you're doing a heckuva job!

Even Tony Almeida bored me. His plan to take advantage of Hodges' ridiculously dumb plot made me lose a lot of respect for Tony- not because he's evil but rather he's acting like a cartoon villain. "We have them right where we want them!" is not a sophisticated master-plan of evil, is it?

The bright spot of tonight's episode was probably the most minuscule moment- where the CTU servers were fired up once again. Hooray bureaucratic reinstatement! If you work for the government, you must have been pleased to see a federal agency lumber back from the dead tonight. I tell you now, once a government entity is created it never, ever dies. So, take that moment as a not-so-subtle hint that CTU will be back online for next season.

If you think I'm being unduly harsh on tonight's episode, please chime in. And if you agree, consider the bitch-session open for business.

24 Season 7: Jack Bauer Chick Flick "First Hearts"

What if the producers of "24" decided to re-make the show into a chick flick? What if indeed! I have no clue what prompted me to make this one, but I feel dirty (especially for the Aaron Pierce/Olivia Taylor love story I cooked up).

24 Season 7: 9PM-10PM Quick Review

Who is Jonas Hodges and what the heck is he up to?

While Jon Voight keeps us on our toes with his zany rants about jellybeans and patriotism, he's quietly assembling a stockpile of biological weapons which he plans to use against his own country. Why? To protect his stranglehold on valuable defense contracts with the federal government, of course. Prior to our "real world" government bailouts happening, I'd say that Hodges' plot was silly. But guess what- you can make BILLIONS off of the government screwing up in all sorts of ways. Hodges is an evil genius.

Other highlights from tonight include:

• Renee Walker being sassy
• Janis admitting she is pathetic when compared to Morris and Chloe O'Brian
  
• Larry Moss admitting he is pathetic when compared to Jack Bauer
  
• Senator Blaine Meyer warming up to Jack before taking several rounds to the chest, courtesy of Hodges' hitman, Quinn (solid death scene).
• Jack v. Quinn (using a front-loader and a screwdriver to do the deed!)
  

I liked everything this episode offered- nothing truly momentous happened, but they rolled out the remaining conspiracy in great fashion. Kiefer Sutherland was flawless (yet again) and Kurtwood Smith made a nice closing appearance as Sen. Meyer. The White House subplot is less compelling as of now, but that should change next week. And Tony Almeida returns too (fresh off a cup of coffee no less!).

24 Season 7: 5PM-6PM Quick Review

This episode is an instant classic.

Let's be real for a minute, fellow 24-fans- this show wasn't good last season. I still liked certain aspects of Day 6, but things got mighty ridiculous in the end. So, with all the off-season problems that hit the show over the past 2 years (Kiefer going to jail, the constant delays, the Writer's Strike, the re-writes, etc.) I was worried that this season was going to be a letdown. And then tonight's episode happened. We're out of the danger zone- this season of "24" is officially good, and here's why:

1) Loose ends get tied up in a timely manner- If this was last season, Dubaku would have crawled away from his Jeep flipping over while Jack and Renee were attempting to rescue Marika. It would have been another 3-6 episodes of Jack chasing Dubaku if that were the case. Thankfully, the writers closed up this plotline quickly. And connected to Dubaku was the uncovering of the overall conspiracy- involving the moles, etc. (apparently Sean Hillinger had over 100 co-conspirators!). And speaking of Sean, he messed up and he got nailed for it. Again, congratulations to the writers for knowing when to box-in the bad guy. Letting Hillinger and Dubaku continue to run around would not make for a better story. In fact, giving Bauer a "win" in the middle of the day is a great set-up to the next big attack, which looks amazing.

2) Finally, Jack has a foil- Renee Walker is smokin' hot, we all got that figured out. But the writers and Annie Wersching have gone and made a real counterpart for Jack. I saw the preview for tonight a few days ago where Renee slaps Jack and thought "Holy Mother, they're going to make this a soap-opera" (Wersching used to work on soaps). Thankfully they got it right- Jack takes two slaps and then growls at her about either toughening up or quitting. And then Renee promises Jack that she was ready to shoot him earlier. And ya know what? I believe that dizzy broad!

3) Tony is back for real as of tonight- The scene between Jack and Tony on the National Mall at sunset was straight out of a William Friedkin movie. Did these guys even look one another in the eye? I don't think so! It was like watching two wolves, circling around a hunting ground, sniffing out the next threat. Hats off to the team for putting that classic scene together. I'll be watching that interaction again when it hits hulu.com

In fact, I'll be watching this entire episode again, because it was incredibly well-done (how about Bill Buchanan going to bat for Jack? Or Chloe saving the day?!? Practically no Janis Gold either!). This is a top-shelf hour of television. And next week looks insane (2-hrs of real mayhem). I'm stupid-happy over how this season has turned out. Let's keep this vibe going.

24 Season 7: 4PM-5PM Pictoral Preview

Tonight we learn who's the FBI mole! I hear last minute rumblings that Janis Gold might be the traitor- and that's probably the most interesting choice next to Larry Moss. Either way, I'll post my usual review right after the show ends. And if I have enough coffee in the house, I'll finish that 24: DMV post too.

Yep, yet another packed night for yours truly. And "Rudy" is on TV right now... I love this movie. RUDY! RUDY! RUDY! RUDY! Ah, if poor Lynn McGill had 1/10th the tenacity of Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger... but I digress.

See you back here later tonight!

24: Poker Night!

A few days ago I opened up this blog to reader suggestions. The Jackster gets the first of these "by request" posts, seeking some "24" fan-fiction showing our favorite characters engaged in a very normal social situation. This one is set during a (not-so) friendly poker game. Enjoy:

Bill Buchanan is sitting at the card table, shuffling a deck. Also at the table are Jack Bauer, Tony Almeida, Larry Moss, Renee Walker and David Emerson. Chloe O'Brian and Janis Gold are sitting at dueling laptops at the kitchen table.

BUCHANAN (dealing out cards): Small blind is five, big is ten. No Crazy Pineapple, no Omaha High rules. This is straight No-Limit Texas Hold 'Em.

JACK: Copy that.

TONY: Yeah (drinks his Budweiser).

Jack notices this and stares at Tony for a moment. Everyone looks at their cards. Moss and Almeida throw in their blinds.

RENEE: Is it my bet? Okay, ten. (throws in her chips).

EMERSON: I'll raise that to $100.

JACK: Dammit!

Tony drinks.

EMERSON: What's wrong, Bauer? You scared?

JACK (sarcastic): I used to be in the military. Used to do field work for the CIA. I've been to some horrible places. I've seen some pretty terrible things. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole life. (throws in his chips to match Emerson's bet).

Chloe snorts to herself.

BUCHANAN: Chloe, what's the status of our pizza delivery?

CHLOE (tapping her keyboard): Give me a minute, I have to redirect the satellite to track it. Janis, open a socket and help me.

JACK: Hurry, Chloe- we're running out of time! (Tony drinks) If he gets here past thirty minutes, our delivery is free.

CHLOE (to Janis): Once we locate the pizza guy, I'll need you to hack into the DOT network and change all traffic lights to red.

JANIS: I'm going to have to check with Agent Moss to see if I should-

CHLOE: Do you want me to do your job for you?! I know you're a PC chick, but I didn't know you were this lame.

BUCHANAN: Moss, it's your bet.

MOSS: I don't know... (looks at Renee, who rolls her eyes). I, uhh, I'll just... (sighs, folds his hand).

BUCHANAN: That was painful to watch. Tony, are you in? (Tony throws his cards to the center of the table, looks at Emerson who nods back at him) Very well, I fold too. Agent Walker, do you call?

RENEE: No, I fold. (Larry sighs, rubbing Renee's back. Renee leans over to him) See how pathetic that was? Now you know how I felt ten seconds ago. (Larry removes his hand and looks down in shame).

Buchanan lays out the flop, a ten of spades, a ten of hearts and a 4 of clubs.

EMERSON: Looks like its just you and me, Bauer. Christopher Henderson told me about your card games when you worked together. He said you didn't have the guts to go all-in when it counted.

JACK: I shot Christopher Henderson's wife in the thigh and then killed him later that day. Trust me, you do not want to go down this road with me.

Silence falls over the tension-filled room.

MOSS: Hey, uh let's play a drinking game! Never have I ever... uh, drink if you've never been shot in the neck.

Only Chloe, Janis and Moss drink.

MOSS: Bill, I didn't know you've been shot in the neck.

BUCHANAN: I haven't, I just block you out most of the time. Emerson, it's your bet.

EMERSON: Check.

JACK: You raise the pot and then check on the flop? That's the wrong play, Emerson. Who are you working for? (Tony drinks) Dammit, Tony! (Tony drinks again) Why are you always drinking after I talk?

Jack pushes Tony against the wall and a piece of paper falls to the ground. Jack picks it up and reads it, looking up at Tony in anger.

JACK: What is this? The "Jack Bauer Drinking Game?"

TONY: Yeah. I got it from some fan blog- every time you say one of your stock phrases, we're supposed to take a drink. I figured I'd give it a try. Can you yell "GET ON THE GROUND NOW!" for me, I'm starting to lose my buzz.

Jack throws Tony against another wall and they get into a clumsy wrestle-fight. Jack is about to throw Tony to the floor.

TONY (whispers): Deep Dish.

Jack immediately stops and steps backwards. The fight is over. Everyone returns to their seats.

BUCHANAN: Alright, Jack, it's your bet.

Jack looks at Emerson and smiles.

JACK: All-in.

Emerson looks down at his cards and back up at Jack.

CHLOE: Jack, we have the pizza guy! He's three blocks away, all side streets, no traffic lights. He has five minutes to spare! Jack, what do you want me to do?

Jack ignores Chloe and stares down Emerson.

JANIS (to Chloe): I have an idea.

Janis jumps up from her seat and starts to strip, running towards the door and out of the house.

BUCHANAN: Agent Walker, Janis isn't trained for that kind of field-op. Since you've folded, we're going to need you to distract the pizza guy with your nakedness.

JACK, TONY, MOSS and EMERSON in unison: COPY THAT! (Tony drinks).

RENEE: You are the saddest bunch of... (folds arms) No, you're going to have to pay for your pizza.

BUCHANAN (to Jack): It was worth a try. (To Renee) Well, we're in an active code now with Janis naked in public-- we need to reel her in. I may get kicked out of the condo association if we can't stop her.

RENEE: Fine... (sighs, pulling out her handgun). You're all going to pay for my therapy bills if this plays out like I think. (Runs out of the house).

JACK: It's your bet, Emerson. Are you all-in?

Emerson looks at Tony, who looks away from him. Just as Emerson is about to fold his hand towards the center of the table, an explosion rocks the house from outside. Jack, Tony, Moss and Buchanan all run outside.

Outside of the house, the pizza deliver car is flipped over, on fire. Janis is covering her naked body with her hands. Renee is dragging the delivery guy out of the wreckage.

BUCHANAN: Agent Walker, you secure the area. We're going to need the fire department to handle this mess. Tony, Jack- grab as many pizzas as you can, preferably those not covered in burning gasoline. Let's get back inside. And Janis... please stop being naked.

MOSS: Renee, are you ok? (touches her shoulder)

RENEE: Let's put "Sensitive Larry" on ice and try to save this pizza guy, deal?

A few minutes later, Jack, Tony and Bill return to the card table. Chloe stares at Jack, hinting at a problem.

EMERSON: I trust nobody is dead.

JACK: Not yet, Emerson. Your bet.

EMERSON: All-in.

JACK: You were about to fold before the pizza guy exploded. Now you're going all-in? What are you up to?

Emerson flips over his cards and shows a pair of tens.

CHLOE: Jack, he's holding a four-of-a-kind. (tapping her keyboard) He has a 95% chance of win--

JACK: Dammit, Chloe, I know! TONY, PUT DOWN THAT BEER!

EMERSON: You saying I cheated? You can't prove anything, Bauer.

TONY: Jack, Emerson treated me like a brother when I thought I had nobody else. He wouldn't cheat at cards.

JACK: Tony, I'm getting tired of this brotherhood talk. Your buddy here says he's British but have you even bothered to listen to his accent? He's from Trenton, New Jersey. Chloe, explain to Tony what Emerson just pulled.

CHLOE (with her laptop walks over and puts it on the table). Surveillance footage shows Emerson swapped out his cards when you ran outside. (to Emerson) Sorry, but you're a lousy cheater.

TONY: You have surveillance cameras in your house, Bill?

BUCHANAN: Karen and I have a... blog.

EMERSON: Don't act so surprised, Bauer. You were thinking of folding too. But then you and Tony started hugging on the floor and he whispered something to you. I just couldn't figure out your play. And that's when you went all-in.

BUCHANAN: Is that true, Jack?

JACK: Tony whispered "Deep Dish" to me, which is code for off-suited cards with no pairs. Look, I have to make decisions that you may not agree with. If I folded I would be giving a known terrorist the pot he tried to buy with that ridiculous hand. I had an ace-high and I had to act fast.

BUCHANAN: Cheating at cards to stop a terrorist? Jesus, Jack, I think we've crossed the line. (rubs his forehead)

JACK: Don't forget, I shot our old boss and a few other co-workers for the same purpose.

CHLOE: And you tortured your girlfriend and killed her husband and--

JACK: Dammit, Chloe, just do your job!

Tony drinks... twice.

BUCHANAN: Alright, game's over until next week. And please, let's try to play a complete hand for once. What do you say we order Chinese next time?

JACK: You son of a bitch!

Tony drinks AGAIN!

BUCHANAN: Oh Jack, I'm sorry-- I forgot...

THE END.

"24" E-Cards Part 5: Carnival of Bauer Edition!

This week, the Carnival of Bauer is being hosted by my respected colleague (and box-wine aficionado) AmyV at The TV Tyrant. Here's my submission, Amy!

24 Season 7: 2PM-3PM Quick Review

Oh, where to start?

How about at the end, with badass Col. Ike Dubaku playing kissy-face with a local waitress in his apt. building. This is why I love "24"- they're crazy enough to take the most hideous of bad guys and reduce him to a very human, almost quaint level. And now we know that like Garfield the Cat, Dubaku loves himself some lasagna. Awesome.

But the real joy of tonight's episode was the balls-out violence! I will have to go back and re-watch this episode to soak it all in, but seeing Jack Bauer, Tony Almeida, Bill Buchanan, Renee Walker and Chloe O'Brian all working together was pure bliss. Can we have about ten more episodes in a row like this? Just good guys getting shit done right, that's what last season was missing (Jack has to shoot Curtis because... geez, I don't even know why anymore, or how Doyle and Milo kept bumping into one another on their way to Nadia's locker). Buchanan with an automatic rifle... that's cinematic genius! And they carried sacks (not the official Jack Sack, mind you, but we're getting closer to the dream, folks).

The biggest loser in this episode (aside from the computer dude Latham, who got the Rachel Dawes special) is definitely Larry Moss. Larry is acting like a petulant loser, whining about his "dead" girlfriend Renee and ignoring the useful counter-terror advice of Janis "Honey" Gold, who was pretty on this episode. Moss is kind of a moron when it comes down to it- reactive, cranky and selfish in some ways. I see a lot of Erin Driscoll in Moss, and that's a bad association.

Next week looks equally awesome. Is this the first time Jack Bauer has visited the White House on the show? They should name the underground bunker in his honor at this point! I can't wait for the next go-around of "24." I'm very happy over here...

The 24 Season 7 FBI Gang Looks Familiar...

Ah, so that's where the Scooby Doo Gang ended up. Good to see they're still working together.


(From left to right): Janis Gold = Velma, Sean Hillinger = Shaggy, Larry Moss = Fred and Renee Walker = Daphne. For the sake of driving the joke home further...


See, in the business this is what we call "casting to type." Yeesh... try and be less obvious guys!

24: Season 7 Hours 10AM-12PM Quick Preview (and an Overall Gut-Check).

Before tonight's 2-hour event airs at 8pm on FOX, here are a few pointers to think about while watching (SOME SPOILERS):

1) Pay close attention to Tony: You will learn a lot about what he's been through since he "died" last season. The writers have something interesting at work here- is he good or is he truly bad? I think before the season is over, that question will be up in the air more than once.

2) Janis v. Chloe! I love this setup. Just enjoy the geek-off, it's about as satisfying as "24" can get. I can't wait for them to meet face-to-face after what they go through tonight.

3) Follow the money: First Gentleman Henry Taylor is investigating his son's "suicide" and he is making fast progress in finding some answers. And, of course, there's large sums of money involved that lead to further clues, begging the next question--

4) What's this Sangala meshugaas anyways? Sangala, the fictitious country from 24: Redemption, is the center of the opening hours' plot. Here's what we know:

• Domestic terrorists (under the direction of David Emerson) are aiding Gen. Juma's control of Sangala by stealing a device that hacks the U.S.'s infrastructure systems.
  
• Gen. Juma has sent Col. Dubaku to work with Emerson on U.S. soil (Dubaku was in "Redemption" as the ruthless #2,; Bauer killed his brother at the school). Remember, Dubaku swore revenge against his brother's killer. Bauer v. Dubaku should happen soon.
  
• Prime Minister-in-exile Motobo is working the newly-minted U.S. President, appealing to her idealism in an effort to have her commit U.S. forces to overthrowing Juma and returning the country back to Motobo.
• Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight) has been laundering money through an associate in order to fund Gen. Juma's control of Sangala.
• First Son Roger Taylor was murdered for his knowledge of Hodges involvement.
• There are people within the Taylor Administration that are involved in the murder/cover-up/overall conspiracy.
  

The big question about all of this plotting is "Why?" What's going on in Sengala? What do they have, if anything, that's keeping people like Hodges involved? It can't just be diamonds. And what's Motobo's motives beyond wanting to make his country "free" again? He seems noble, but I wouldn't be surprised if he had some not-so-honorable motives. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION to what Samantha Roth (The First Son's ex) says to Roger Taylor tonight-- there are lots of clues buried there. And...

5) Does F.B.I. stand for Freckled Babe Investigator? Just wondering...


So, there you have it. Enjoy tonight's show, it's going to be very action-packed, I guarantee.