Wednesday, January 25, 2012

24: The Movie Poster Concept #1

Picking up from last week's announcement of a "24" film, we suggest 20th Century Fox take a similar approach here to what it did with the well-worn "Apes" series.  Get your prequel on, FOX!  Show us where the Bauers came from once and for all!

"Get yer stinkin paws off my Jack Sack, you damned dirty Bauer!"

Friday, January 13, 2012

Getting Your Blog Back On

I've been out of this blogging gig so long that I've returned to find that no one blogs anymore!  You people with all of your tweeting, friending, tumblring, linkedining, etc.  Well, throw on your White Stripes albums and imagine a world where a movie ticket cost $10, where no one knew of Kim Kardashian and where this site threatened to shoot you in the kneecaps if you didn't watch "24."

It's good manners to say where you've been when having been silent for such a long time.  Here it is: I was at work being a lawyer.

My friends and family can confirm this statement.  I was at work, losing my creativity and energy in an attempt to catch up on my career.  I went from watching films and making pot roasts to playing corporate politics and eating tinned fish for dinner.  Somewhere along the way, I wrongly brought my moral compass to work and began to get truly upset with the things I was witnessing.  Don't get me wrong, I've not found anyone breaking the law (well, except one guy, but that's not something I can talk about until the case is adjudicated, stay tuned, seriously). What gnaws at me is something less pressing but more disheartening: a lot of people lack a conscience.  It's a defect that doesn't appear during casual chit-chat or even formal meetings. Unfortunately, it shows up with the larger things: a layoff that wasn't necessary or justified, an expense report that covers a $5,000 sofa, or two or three of them, and a complete lack of accountability for the really bad things that people do to each other on a regular basis. 

If I thought my group was somehow uniquely dysfunctional, I would be fine with everything I mentioned.  But this is not nearly as bad as other places I know and many more I've heard of from my associates. Simple tasks are made difficult because things not having to do with the work involved become priorities: who takes credit? Who gets to fly out to the event?  Who cares!

And then there was The Jack Sack™- emptied of its excellent contributors and readers, the site stood silent, asking me to write once more.  I made several attempts to publish something, ANYTHING, to show you signs of life.  I would start a review of a movie and then stop and delete the whole draft. I prepared a commentary on the whole Mosque at the World Trade Center because I was impassioned to speak to those ideals our leaders were failing to articulate. I was also trying to make you laugh- drafting a story of "Where is Jack Bauer at this VERY moment" and couldn't piece together one funny idea regarding his whereabouts.

Instead of writing to fill space, I chose to put this operation on hold. And while I am sure I made the right choice given what was going on in my life, I also know that I greatly missed writing.  Goofing off is my escape. This site was created on a goofy notion- to honor and perpetuate the legend of a tough guy's manpurse. "24" fans understood the absurdity of this fixation. We made friends, and competed to be as ridiculous as the show eventually became. 

The show's end in May 2010 made my desire to write about Jack Bauer almost disappear. I'd said everything I thought about the character- serious and ridiculous ideas both! I forgot how to draw out the silly shit from the show into the open to exploit for comedic purposes. My show walked away from us. Who wants to talk about a friend that beats it out of town and doesn't write back?

I do, apparently.  When Cirroc posted a comment the other day about a new "24" film, I finally started to care.  And now that the film is looking to film in a couple of months, I think this site is ready to resume.  Hey, we may even show these kids what more than 140 characters of copy will get you.  Jack Bauer is so good at killing bad guys that if he tweeted about it, he would force Twitter to give him a special account that knows no rules.  And then there's the Doctor from Doctor Who- always changing, always upbeat--  I'll take note of those habits in particular.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

24 Movie News: Sutherland Declares He's "Back In Sack!"

Caveman & scholar Cirroc was kind enough to learn how to type and leave news in my last article's comment section regarding a new motion picture that's apparently in development.  It's called "24" which has lead some industry-watchers to theorize that comedian Steve Martin is going back to his much-lauded "Cheaper By The Dozen" film series to add further to this enduring tale with a second marriage and another 12 kids.  Bonnie Hunt's character is undoubtedly dead in this sequel.

Or, and this is a long-shot, this is a film that will continue the television series "24" which served as a post-September 11th thriller depicting the life of (sometimes) Federal Agent Jack Bauer as he spends precisely 24 hours trying to stop multiple louses from hurting our fine nation.  Kiefer Sutherland, fresh off of not doing "24" for a few years, made an announcement that the film could begin production in the Spring of this year.  Mr. Sutherland also stated that the new film will take place 6 months after the last episode of the TV series, which aired in May 2010 (when this blog was as popular as that middle Brady girl from the "Brady Bunch").

Assuming they get this film going, "24" could be in theaters by Summer 2013.  Or, if 20th Century Fox wishes to torture us, they could delay it until that Winter, by which point I will be retired and living in Cozumel with no internet access.  I guess there are worse fates to be had...

Saturday, January 07, 2012

My TARDIS At The Office

It's bigger on the inside.  I made it out of foamcore a few months ago.  My superiors have not demanded that I take it down yet, so I think we're in the clear.