Sunday, February 18, 2007
Twiggy, the CTU Water-Skiing Squirrel was fired today just a mere few days into her stint as our government's newest weapon in the war on terror. This photograph, obtained exclusively by The Jack Sack, allegedly depicts Twiggy having a "breakfast beer" before showing up to work earlier this morning. CTU officials refuse to issue a comment at this time. Twiggy, in a short statement vows to sue CTU for discrimination and wrongful termination, retaining Alan Dershowitz as her counsel.