Monday, May 18, 2009

24 Season 7: Letter to Cara Bowden from the VA State Bar

The following is a letter we intercepted from the Virginia State Bar Association Committee on Character and Fitness to Cara "Fake Lawyer" Bowden.


Dear Ms. Bowden,

It has come to our attention that you are representing yourself as an attorney without any verifiable proof of admission to the State of Virginia Bar (or any other acceptable jurisdiction). While we gladly accept your enthusiasm for the practice of law, we kindly ask that you refrain from any further acts as counsel until we can conduct a hearing into this matter.

Specifically, we have learned that you arrived at The White House earlier yesterday to meet with a client, Jonas Hodges, and gave him legal advice to kill himself. Normally, we would frown upon such conduct, as we tend to like our clients alive so they can pay any legal fees incurred. We therefore ask that you show proof that Mr. Hodges was current on his bills with your office, in which case we will make a special dispensation for your unique and inventive legal strategy. We appreciate anyone who is willing to do what it takes to not lose a case.

We have also been informed that you are working in concert with a group of domestic terrorists in forming a plot to kill potentially thousands of innocent American lives. Again, we cannot make a determination on your legal philosophy at present. In Virginia, we welcome all kinds of attorneys to practice- bad lawyers, drunk lawyers and even some downright reprehensible individuals. It is our goal to diversify the profession with men and women that are innovative thinkers. We applaud your efforts to this end, and we look forward to hearing your rationale for this conduct. We are currently re-drafting our Rules on Professional Responsibility and are open to any suggestions you may have to offer.

Unfortunately, we can only permit so much. The conspiracy, the murders, the violation of state and Federal laws are all subject to discussion- but to practice without a license is something we cannot allow.

Please see the attached form detailing the time and place of your hearing. You are entitled to counsel or you can continue do represent yourself- something we would find deeply entertaining.

Sincerely,

State of Virginia Bar Association
Committee on Character and Fitness

2 comments:

Rickey Henderson said...

awesome. well done sir.

Dr. Alice said...

ROTFLMAO. "To practice without a license is something that we CANNOT allow! It's... it's just wrong!"
You really evoked the spirit of professional review committees with this one (doesn't have to be legal; I could envision a very similar letter being sent by a state ethics commission to a medical character). Nice job.

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