Monday, February 01, 2010

24 Season 8: Introducing Vinnie, the CTU Hot Dog Guy!

 
Aside from a few exterior shots of Manhattan, you'd be hard-pressed to say that this season of "24" really feels like it takes place in New York City. But thankfully, they got an authentic dirty-water dog vendor stationed in the heart of CTU's NY complex. Vinnie sent in this report on the status of the new CTU:

Hey folks- Vinnie here. So far, this has been a pretty crazy day. I was listening to the sports talk show this afternoon and this stuff about the Yankees letting Johnny Damon go is ridiculous! What, you guys don't got an extra $10 million layin' around? My cousin Jerry has a hot dog cart up by the new stadium and he's telling me all about the money flowing into that place. As for me, I gotta deal with a bunch of government employees that are moonlighting as models for J.Crew. These types don't like eating hot dogs, they're too worried about their figures and what not.

But I will say this, that guy Hastings is my best customer. He comes over to my cart every five minutes, telling me about some new shrimp recipes he came up with, listening to my radio and talking sports. He's alright- he likes chili on his hot dog. I believe his spinal column is collapsing too.

Then there's that Dana Walsh chick. I got my suspicions about her. She says she's from the area but I saw her put mayo on her hot dog, which is absolutely ridiculous. You'd have to be from someplace like Arkansas or something to do that. But everybody says she's not from the South. And that her name's really Dana. Yeah, we'll see...

Her boy Cole Ortiz ain't bad. His eyes are always bugging out like he's surprised by something. I had a cousin who looked like that too- he got kicked in the head by a horse at the Belmont track three summers ago. Naturally, we sued, and he's doin' alright now. Except for the hoof mark...

If there's one guy I don't like, it's that kid Arlo. He's always yapping about female body parts like he ain't never been with a chick before. If I had a sister, and he was in the same zip code as her, I'd preemptively kick his ass for all the filthy crap running through his head.

But all of these clowns don't compare to my real buddy here, Chloe. She's the best! She told me how to steal digital cable! Now I get to see all the pay-per-view boxing matches for free. I invited her and Morris over to my house next week to see the next fight. My wife is gonna cook sausage & peppers (yes, I eat a lot of food in casings, what's it you ya?).

Anyway, that's the deal with these characters. I see there's some new guy running around the office with a fancy leather purse. He looks angrier than a fat kid at a salad bar. I'm gonna leave him be.

5 comments:

Granny Annie said...

I have been waiting for the day an "insider" would give us the true scoop. Thanks Vinnie.

Dr. Alice said...

ROTFL. If Vinnie sells hot dogs at 3 am I'd love to hear his commentary later in the season too.

Dr. Alice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rickey Henderson said...

As for me, I gotta deal with a bunch of government employees that are moonlighting as models for J.Crew.

Hey, how'd he know that Rickey started working at CTU?

Sunny said...

A kosher hot dog from a roach coach is an oxymoron.

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