Monday, February 01, 2010
Hey folks- Vinnie here. So far, this has been a pretty crazy day. I was listening to the sports talk show this afternoon and this stuff about the Yankees letting Johnny Damon go is ridiculous! What, you guys don't got an extra $10 million layin' around? My cousin Jerry has a hot dog cart up by the new stadium and he's telling me all about the money flowing into that place. As for me, I gotta deal with a bunch of government employees that are moonlighting as models for J.Crew. These types don't like eating hot dogs, they're too worried about their figures and what not.
But I will say this, that guy Hastings is my best customer. He comes over to my cart every five minutes, telling me about some new shrimp recipes he came up with, listening to my radio and talking sports. He's alright- he likes chili on his hot dog. I believe his spinal column is collapsing too.
Then there's that Dana Walsh chick. I got my suspicions about her. She says she's from the area but I saw her put mayo on her hot dog, which is absolutely ridiculous. You'd have to be from someplace like Arkansas or something to do that. But everybody says she's not from the South. And that her name's really Dana. Yeah, we'll see...
Her boy Cole Ortiz ain't bad. His eyes are always bugging out like he's surprised by something. I had a cousin who looked like that too- he got kicked in the head by a horse at the Belmont track three summers ago. Naturally, we sued, and he's doin' alright now. Except for the hoof mark...
If there's one guy I don't like, it's that kid Arlo. He's always yapping about female body parts like he ain't never been with a chick before. If I had a sister, and he was in the same zip code as her, I'd preemptively kick his ass for all the filthy crap running through his head.
But all of these clowns don't compare to my real buddy here, Chloe. She's the best! She told me how to steal digital cable! Now I get to see all the pay-per-view boxing matches for free. I invited her and Morris over to my house next week to see the next fight. My wife is gonna cook sausage & peppers (yes, I eat a lot of food in casings, what's it you ya?).
Anyway, that's the deal with these characters. I see there's some new guy running around the office with a fancy leather purse. He looks angrier than a fat kid at a salad bar. I'm gonna leave him be.