Overheard in CTU

Riffing on the ever-popular site "Overheard in New York," here are a few snippets of things overheard within the confines of CTU Los Angeles:

Security Guy #1: Do you think we have any control over this situation?
Security Guy #2: I don't think you should be existential today.
Security Guy #1: Maybe if we didn't wear red shirts, things would be better.
Security Guy #2: Or maybe we should actually plug in that metal detector, eh?

.....


Guy in Caf: What time did Bauer get to the office today?
Girl in Caf: About 4AM, I think. Why?
Guy in Caf: (looks at watch) Okay, that was about 18 hrs ago. I'm going out. Be back in about 6 hours.
Girl in Caf: What are you-
Guy in Caf: See ya! (leaves)

.....

Guy #1 near Chloe's desk: I can't tell if I want to hit that or not.
Guy #2 near Chloe's desk: Dude! I totally know what you're talking about!
Guy #1 near Chloe's desk: I mean, her face is...
Guy #2 near Chloe's desk: Beautiful, I know!
Guy #1 near Chloe's desk: Wha?

.....

Terrorist #1 underneath CTU: Man, it's like they practically want us to come in underground.
Terrorist #2 underneath CTU: Look, there's a bunch of guns here from the last guys who came through!
Terrorist #1 underneath CTU: Wait a sec. That means they didn't make it out!
Terrorist #2 underneath CTU: Duh, we're terrorists, not bank robbers!
Terrorist #1 underneath CTU: Oh yeah.

.....

Helicopter pilot: Hey, Jack- you don't have anymore hidden relatives left, do you?
Jack Bauer: Why do you ask?
Helicopter pilot: Oh, I'm just trying to figure my odds of survival at the moment.
Jack Bauer: Don't worry-- you're in a helicopter. We don't have the budget to blow this thing up.
Helicopter pilot: Phew.