Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The Jack Sack Recap: 2:00AM-3:00AM

Last night we got some much-needed action-- we saw some Chinese bounty hunters shoot up CTU, we had Jack shoot up some Chinese bounty hunters, and then we had the "hero" moment where that poor, dumb bastard, Milo had to man-up and protect the "confused" little Nadia Yassir from certain death.

You know, let's start with Milo's death-- I find it very funny that the Chinese guys had access to all of CTU's computers and data and they could have easily gone to any laptop and punched in "Who's in charge here?" and they would have gotten an answer. But these bounty hunters are working on a WHOLE different level. They want to weed out the heroes. That's why they didn't even bother to check who the real boss was, instead they wanted to see who had the biggest brass ones and then remove that guy from the equation. And that brutality sends a message to the rest of the hostages-- we are not beneath killing people at will. I approve of the bounty hunters' strategy for taking CTU (I know, I know, I couldn't take a candy bar hostage from a mini-mart let alone lock-down a federal outpost, but as an observer, I can appreciate a good home run, a nice basket and an awesome tactical mission).

All the while, we had Jack doing his "John McClane" bit in the dark hallways of CTU. It was good to see Jack peel off a few rounds, but his getting caught shows he has slowed down in his old age. Even last season at the airport, Jack was able to pull off some nifty kills using his Palm Treo before he finally gave himself up. And even then, Jack was making moves to secure further terrorist deaths by stating he was in a "flank-2 position." But that was last season. This season, the man is diminished. He is about to have that one psychotic break from which he can never recover. I love that they keep taking pieces out of Bauer, but maybe they should throw him a birthday party at the end of this season, complete with balloons and a large sandwich. Sandwiches always cheer me up...

And then there is that curiously evil man that Jack calls "Dad"-- Philip Bauer. Ol' Philly is up to no good again, trying to kill many good people and help the Chinese start World War Three, while kidnapping his extremely whiny grandson. I have a hard time figuring out why Gradpappy Bauer would want to drag that kid around. Did Phil stuff the kid with diamonds like a Colombian mule? Does Josh have an ability to open locks, control the weather and manipulate space-time, etc.? I hope that gets explained-- because if this is just about protecting the familial line, then that is plain stupid. And while they're at it, can they please explain a little more why Pappy Bauer is so freakin' evil? I dunno, the whole "I want to control the world because it's all screwed up anyways!" argument doesn't fly with me. They gotta try harder with that one.

Finally, there's Noah Daniels' little ex-girlfriend, Lisa. Poor Lisa got caught doing the nasty with a Russian spy. Now, Lisa has to listen to Tom Lennox (who's chillin' in a stakeout van-- and having way too much fun at that) and use her relationship with the shirtless spy to manipulate the Russians. It's convoluted but it makes sense. But what doesn't make sense is that Lisa couldn't come up with an excuse to leave the room for five minutes. All she had to say is "I gotta go drop a deuce." Who stops a woman when she says that?

Next week, more death, more spectacular screaming and shooting and lots of chaos. "24" is how I like to relax, how about you?


HC said...

Yeah, I was wondering why that crazy blonde kept insisting she needed to shower -- why not just say you have to pee?? But, if we've learned anything from 24, urination is for the weak.

Anonymous said...

Or howabout "I have to go insert my diaphragm".

In fact if he were smart he would remind her.

TheJackSack said...

Gary, welcome to the party- I like the way you think!

Haley, as you were.

Anonymous said...

absolutely! i was silently yelling (two children asleep upstairs makes loudly yelling a bad idea) for her to just say she had to pee! geeez.

TheJackSack said...

Amy, you whisper with intensity, like Jack.

Oh, did you notice when in the first scene with Nadia, Jack snapped a "Dammit" out and she flinched? I love this show.

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