Previously on 24, I lost my patience with some absurd plotting and a conclusion that made me long for the days of Charles Logan and his selfish presidency. This season, we get the opposite- a curmudgeon with a heart of gold in James Heller. Certainly we should applaud this man's courage in deciding to surrender himself to save thousands of innocent lives. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, right? Eh...
Doctors at the CIA substation tell us Simone won't be ready to talk for at least one more episode.
Meanwhile, Simone's Mom (Shadow Mom) is really excited about the iChat she had with James Heller. Shadow Son says "Bully!" to that nonsense. They flee their country estate for a new hiding spot. These terrorists are prepared.
Mr. Julia Robert's hit man calls up all Ali G style and says he didn't make the hit. Kill him, says Julia's ex-fiance. OK!
Heller meets with Jack, and shows Jack he knows how to record iChat conversations. Jack is shocked by this technical skill. Oh and the content of the conversation too! Heller makes Shadow Mom swear (Bauer-style) that she'll destroy her drone fleet if he surrenders to her. She does, yet Bauer is not impressed. Then Heller tells Jack he's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. And THEN Bill Devane takes the show over with some major fucking acting! Damn, Devane, you win me over every single time. I suddenly agree with Heller because Bill Devane is Heller and Bill Devane is awesome. Jack gets convinced too. Heller asks Jack to kidnap him. Ah, man- Jack is never going to avoid jail. Jack asks for help and Heller picks the wrong person in Son-in-Chief. Jack's definitely not getting help from this guy.
Jack calls Kate and asks again to interrogate Simone. Kate says "The doctors are saying-" Jack cannot take this shit anymore so he tells her Heller is surrendering to Shadow Mom. "So, wake the bitch up!" Jack says and suddenly a new classic Jack quote is born. Kate wakes her up in 2 seconds. Simone tells Kate about the disc in the floorboard at the house, address and all.
Son-in-Chief walks in and Jack wants to kick the Earth out of the sun's orbit. Jack then loads his guns in front of the guy to show him he knows how to use guns. Kate calls Jack and says "We may have something, blah blah blah" hope it works!
Heller goes to see Audrey. They look at old pictures of him, Audrey and her mom- who looks creepily like Audrey. It's a good scene because Bill Devane is in it. Ooof, this guy pulls the heart strings. I'd watch 24 hours of Bill Devane. New series, FOX! Get on it.
Chloe makes a quick appearance at the Internet pub. What's she typing furiously about?
Jordan calls Mr. Julia Roberts and indicates he's not smart enough to know he was set up. So, Julia's leftovers calls da Ali G hit man and gives him the location.
Meanwhile, Jack rips the transponder out of the President. Ha! Heller busts Jack's balls about being a crappy surgeon. Ah, the love between these two guys. Oh shit, Heller puts on a ball cap disguise. Awesome! A Secret Service Agent walks in on Heller and Jack and Jack demolishes him with a right hook. "Geez, Jack!" Heller moans. Ha! And onto the streets Heller and Jack go.
Jack and Heller get to the chopper! (Sorry, I had to) The Allstate guy (no, the other Allstate guy, the one that keeps breaking stuff) says "Huh?" Wembley, here we come.
In the continuing adventures of the lazy hit man, the trail of blood keeps da Ali G preoccupied, so Jordan beats him with a lead pipe (is it lead? I don't really know, it's a saying!) and grabs G's gun. But then G stabs him! But THEN Jordan shoots G! So much messiness. Mr. Julia Roberts gathers that this is all going poorly when G doesn't answer his well-timed call. I mean, really- the hit man kept his ringer on! What a ponce! Jordan, covered in Ali G's blood, realizes Julia Roberts was right to dump that jerk.
Meanwhile, the CIA have a tactical team picking up that loose plot thread. which they find. The external drive with all the GAME OF THRONES episodes, hopefully. Kate asks some desk jokey to send all information to Chloe O'Brian. "O'Brian?" YES, DAMMIT!
Shadow Mum and Son get the hotel base of operations up and running, and they remind us that they have 5 drones active. What OS are they running to get those very "Fisher-Price quality" drone graphics?
Jack and Heller land the chopper at Wembley. Chloe calls Jack, says she's going to try to solve the riddle of steel but it's not going easy. Jack tells Heller he's going to die. Sorry.
Next, Chloe hears from The Crow villain. It's an awkward conversation. Hmmm, Chloe seems to be in on some dirty shit with this guy. Ah, it's all a double-triple crosses nowadays.
Audrey tells Mark (Son-in-Chief) that her dad has run away to join a football club but she (of a woman's intuition) sees that Mark knows. Audrey slaps Mark. Now, he'll be called Mark because he hung in there with Audrey's crazy train routine. This is a surprisingly moving scene. Mark, you showed some character there. Please don't screw over Jack.
At Wembley, Heller tells Jack he gave Jack a presidential pardon for all past crimes, including that hacksaw gag from many moons ago. Chloe calls to say she might have something but she needs more time. "We're out of time," Heller grumbles and he strides onto the field. Still wearing the ball cap. Oh, okay, he takes it off. Professional. But he keeps the windbreaker on. Casual. This guy masters all looks.
Shadow Mum sees Heller on her Presidential spy cam. She needs to run facial recognition because she can't believe Heller would wear a windbreaker to his grave. The software confirms it's him, so she tells Shadow Son that she wants to push the button to kill! Target lock. Missile fired. And just like that, James Heller explodes. Silent clock? NO! WHAT??!!?!?
Okay, this was a tough one. I loved all of Heller's scenes and I was ultimately surprised that they couldn't save his life. I admit the idea of Heller surrendering made for good drama so I accept it for what it is and what it will become- new purpose for Jack to exact his unrelenting revenge. I also like that Jack got his pardon, but will it hold up? Will Heller be deemed "incapacitated?" Who knows, but I guess that's the unofficial tagline of 24. Tonight's episode was a vast improvement over last week's for me. I think the length of this series- and the history between these characters paid off with these several scenes between Jack and Heller, and to a lesser extent, between Heller, Audrey and Mark. For you hopeful folks out there that think no silent clock means Heller and Jack duped the baddies, I hope you're right. But as of now, I'm operating under the assumption that Heller is gone.
Now, here's a special treat- my friend Nik created a custom "cartoon" piece of artwork showing Clementine and my friend's pug, Priss- they're on an adventure in the wild! I need this after tonight' episode.