Last week, it seemed like everyone forgot about the plot to assassinate David Palmer. Jack and Teri planned a little trip with their still-missing daughter (Kimberly), Agent Pierce was playing a marathon session of gin rummy with his Secret Service pals and Tony Almeida was at a pet shop in the local mall, playing with an irascible pekingese.
Thankfully, the show runners start tonight's episode with a much-needed reminder. Remember a few weeks back when Mandy shagged a photographer on the plane before blowing it up? Well that dead photographer was scheduled to do a photoshoot with David Palmer today. Mandy stole the guy's credentials (yes... another effin' ID card) and Ira Gaines has procured a hitman lookalike to go in the photographer's place. Sounds like a pretty sound plan, eh? I wonder if Almeida is done compiling the flight list yet... it might be important, ya know, to tell the Secret Service that the person Palmer is going to meet is actually dead. (yawn) It's so HARD fighting terrorists!
As the assassin leaves to go assassinate, Ira tells him to avoid traffic by taking the back roads, etc. I'm half expecting Gaines to tell his hired killer to bring a light jacket in case it gets cold outside. After the assassin leaves with a juice box and bag of trail mix (thanks, Ira!), the ever-controlling Gaines returns to Jack, who's driving that Ford Taurus from last episode. Gaines tells Jack to go back to CTU and to also check under the visor for a... (guess, seriously- you can all guess what Ira left for Jack... ready?) ANOTHER KEYCARD!!! If these guys wrote kid's movies, we'd be hearing about "Snow White and the Seven Keycards" at some point...
Speaking of keycards, the ever unkempt Milo Pressman is hard at work at deciphering the really important keycard that Richard Walsh gave to Jack in the beginning of the season. Milo explains to Nina that the assassin may have had some plastic surgery done to hide his true identity. Nina corrects Milo and says perhaps the assassin got plastic surgery to look like someone else. Ah-ha! Somebody is getting close to busting this case wide open! Also, Nina eats some of Milo's Cheerios (again, not a metaphor for something sexual- you people need therapy).
Speaking of therapy (man, one segue after another!), we catch up with David Palmer chasing down his son Keith to hash out some newly-learned details about the whole murder cover-up from years ago. A preliminary thought and then I'll get to the Palmer family strife- Keith is jogging in public and this annoys me because 1) he only had 2 hrs sleep and 2) oh yeah, people are trying to kill your dad. What an amateur this kid is- seriously, what the heck is he thinking? Anyway, David tries to tell Keith that it's best the family get ahead of the story in the press before someone else reveals all of those dirty secrets. Well, moron Keith starts blabbing about how Poppa Palmer wasn't around to deal with things in the past and it's really sucky that he's being all honest and crap after the fact. Keith, shut your dumb head. David Palmer was out of town doing his job when you decided to go and kill the guy who raped your sister. What a brat! What a spineless, spoiled jerk of a kid. Take some personal responsibility, buddy. You killed someone, you took the law into your own hands. Now, it's time to pay the consequences. Stop trying to blame Dad for being successful. Oh, and the guy who plays Keith isn't a convincing actor here. Compared to Haysbert, this kid is a major lightweight.
Back at the Gaines compound, Stoner Rick is busy showing off his shirtless self to a very unamused Kim Bauer. Kim asks Rick for the 243rd time to help her escape. Rick is not sure what the big deal is and Kim has to remind the guy that Gaines killed his buddy without a second's thought and Rick is likely going to be next. This gives Rick pause- finally, I think obvious logic is getting through to this boob.
Ira Gaines, meanwhile, tells Jack the plan is to swap the keycard he has with the one Milo is trying to decrypt. Ah, the old switcheroo! Wouldn't it just be easier to kill Milo? Poison his Cheerios! Ah well, looks like Ira wants things done the hard way- again...
Teri Bauer is still riding around aimlessly through the hills of Southern California with Fake Alan York. Remember that at the end of last week Nina Myers tells Teri that the real Alan York is dead. So, as Teri sits around contemplating her escape, she fakes like she needs to puke to run into the woods on the side of the road. I hate to bring up old jokes, but what the heck is wrong with people? Use the "poop" excuse already- someone, anyone- you say you have to go poop, people generally give you your space. Puking doesn't keep folks away- in fact there is always a guy holding a girl's hand through shit like that- puking is not a show-stopper. Well, Alan gets nervous that Teri has run away, but it turns out she's hiding until she can attack the guy and get his car keys. Teri tries to wrest the keys from Alan's hand, but the keys end up getting lost in the woods. So, Teri ties up a knocked-out York and she goes into the woods to try and get a better cell signal (instead of flagging down cars that pass by her location ( another moron...).
Rick asks Gaines if he can leave. Gaines says "Nah, you can dig a few more holes first" and this amuses the shit out of Gaines as Rick walks away confused. Gaines is in full effect at this point- he's pulling Jack's strings, getting him to successfully swap keycards after Jack knocks over Milo's breakfast cereal (this impresses Gaines to no end) and he orders Jack to get credentials to Palmer's big event that morning. This is the "breakfast" we've been hearing about for the past few hours- and this is the event at which Palmer is going to divulge the secret past of his family.
Palmer talks with his daughter about resurrecting painful memories of her rape. And like a politician, he says "Don't answer any questions you don't want to- just say 'no comment' or refer them to me." Sorry, Senator- that's just ridiculous. You don't sell out your rape-victim daughter to keep your campaign going. Nor do you put her at some public event when this thing breaks open. Haven't any of you guys heard of Bill Clinton? It's all about the sit-down interview with soft lighting. That's how you roll out this story! Not at a pancake breakfast after no one got any sleep. Morons!
Let's see, what else is going on... Rick and Kim plan an escape, not before faking a sexual assault by Rick to buy themselves more time. Milo figures out Jack stole the original keycard, so Nina confronts Jack and they have a very hot scene where he pulls a gun on her and walks her out of the building (Milo, useless as ever does nothing to intervene and Tony asks Jack where they're going- and if they happen to pass a 7-Eleven, could they pick up some milk for the office). Teri finally gets cell phone reception a good 50 feet from Alan York's car (took ya long enough) and she eventually calls Jamie at CTU and tells her everything, and to not call the police. Jamie says she'll dispatch CTU agents to her location.
Well, the agents arrive but they're not really helpful. In fact, the only thing they've brought is a black bag which they put over Teri's head as they abduct her and release Alan York from his bondage. This affords us another opportunity to hear Teri Bauer scream and flip out. Ah, the melodic noises that emanate from this woman- like listening to The Spice Girls at full blast while a truck full of silverware rolls over onto Fran Drescher. Thanks a lot Jamie, ya stupid mole!
Meanwhile, Ira is flipping channels between a "Property Virgins" marathon on HGTV and the closed-circuit broadcast of Jack and Nina riding around in the Ford Taurus. Just as a newly married couple is about to put in a bid on that cute split-level home, Jack arrives at the deserted location where Ira tells him to quickly kill Nina (Ira doesn't want to miss any more HGTV). Jack pulls Nina out of the car, yells (to which Nina yells back) and finally he pulls the trigger, shooting Nina right in the chest. This scene was pretty good- it reflected a lot of the remaining problems Nina and Jack had as lovers (he's willing to kill Nina in order to keep his wife and daughter alive, that's not very cool to the mistress!). It also had Ira Gaines on the edge of his seat. Ira is the original 24-fan- he's been watching Jack on his TV set for the past 2 hours, and I think he's hooked!
But this being 24, nothing is ever quite as it seems. Nina was wearing a flak jacket, courtesy of Jack. So, Nina lives and now she knows Jack is still a good guy- which will hopefully translate into further sexual tension between these two characters.
Also, back at the Gaines compound, Kim and Rick are about to escape when they hear Teri arriving at the camp, still screaming and hollering like someone who's just been told that Burger King doesn't sell the Whopper® anymore. The list of Teri's annoying acts got a lot longer this episode. Why do I feel like we've got so much more to look forward to?
My thoughts: a good episode- very well-plotted and extremely fast-moving. I also like the nuance of the Palmer family stuff- even though I think the overall story is silly (this is the sort of scandal that would play out very differently in real politics, in my opinion). David Palmer is a welcome presence, even if he's dealing with this subplot. Sherry Palmer (slowly losing her luster, surprisingly) is still trying to keep the family together, despite David's unwavering Jimmy Carter-levels of morality. This episode also works because we see how resourceful Jack has become in a few short hours. The man gets it all done- sure, guns help make things happen more quickly, but Jack could have pulled off everything with a glaring look and a lot of old school toughness. Teri, take note of Jack's quiet nature. Please.
Showing posts with label Mandy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mandy. Show all posts
Monday, July 12, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
24 Season 1: 2AM-3AM Retro Review
Jack Bauer gives new meaning to the term "thumb drive"-- he uses some nifty thumb print scanner in his CTU ride to ID the recently removed thumb from one of those filthy terrorists back at the ambush last hour. So, he can identify a THUMB while he DRIVES... get it? Oh, my sides are killing me from laughing so hard!
Well, before Jack can get too involved in trying to save the world, he has to answer a call from the wifey. Teri tells Jack that their daughter is a party girl. Jack is angry, not at Kim per se, but at Teri for being such a latecomer to the game. Meanwhile, father-of-the-year Alan York (remember him? father to Kim's friend Janet) tells Teri and Jack that he's scared of staying outside too long and he has to pee and eat graham crackers (in that order). Jack wants nothing to do with this nonsense, and he reminds them both that their daughters are more important than slipping on pajamas and nodding off to Seinfeld reruns. Alan and Teri agree. They remain at the furniture store for their daughters to arrive.
Back at the Assassin's Retreat, Mandy (clothed, but no bra) and the scumbag terrorist "buyer" of the ID card (Ira Gaines) have to sort out some details, like whether or not he's going to pay Mandy and her female cohort the originally agreed upon price of $1 million or the new double-cross special "discount" of $2 million! Ira Gaines... hmmm, that sounds like a character a bank would invent to market Roth-IRA accounts. "Enjoy your gains made from an IRA!" Okay, I promise, that's the last one of those jokes I'll do tonight! Sorry!
And the target of these plotting villains is still missing! Senator Palmer disappeared last hour for some heretofore unknown shenanigans. In his wake, he has left his beautiful, loving wife Sherry and their children to deal with added Secret Service protection. It pains me to see such good, stable people put through this kind of stress. Oh, and Aaron Pierce calls David Palmer's kid "son" (thankfully not "boy"). That would have not gone over well.
At a small airfield, the purple love van pulls up and a new thread of evil is revealed! The stoner college guys call their "boss" finally! They are in cahoots with Ira Gaines! They have some quick chat about "the Bauer girl" and thus offici- wait, a moth just flew by me, I have to kill it. Be right back...
OK- the moth is dead, what was I saying? Yes, Kim is a moth to flame of danger. I hope she learns her lesson this season and stays out of trouble in the future! Oh, and to shut Janet up from whining about her brutally broken arm, the stoners give her some heroin. So, to shut someone up like... say, Nancy Grace, all I gotta do is give her some black tar? Done!
On the streets of LA, Senator David Palmer drives with confidence. Why, you ask? Because he's in good hands, people. And when he pulls into one of the most dangerous parking garages in one of the worst neighborhoods in the city, the spirit of Jobu comes to his aid when a thug swings at him with a baseball bat. The thug's friend recognizes Palmer in a really geographically misplaced NY accent. I guess this is what happens to guys when their "entourage" goes belly-up. Anyway, the thug gets a brief lesson in crime statistics from Palmer, and he replies by smashing in Palmer's rear windshield. That's alright, the senator has accident forgiveness.
Upon Jack's return to CTU, we get a healthy dose of some excellent cat-and-mouse dialogue. Jack tasks Jamie (a trusted student of the newly-dead Richard Walsh) with unloading all of the plot-revealing data on the ID card Jack recovered. He also wants confirmation that Nina Myers is the mole, which this card could provide. So, while Jamie is furiously trying to confirm the ID card's origins, Jack and Nina have a great scene of adult verbal chess in his office. This is a highlight of the season so far- Sarah Clarke is something wonderful in this role. You know she can lie like nobody's business, but you also want her to be good. Keifer and Sarah Clarke are a fantastic combination. And the scene they share here is brilliantly written. Jamie calls Jack while he's in his office with Nina and confirms that Nina is the mole. Jack, stone-faced sends Nina off to do some photocopies. This is getting quite good.
What could make this better? How about Mandy making out with her girlfriend? What is this show I've stumbled upon? Or how about Kim somehow escaping from the stoners with her banged-up, junked-up best buddy? And that Kim and Janet somehow end up in South Central LA on foot where they were just at an airfield minutes earlier? Lesbians and Time Traveling Junkies. That should be the name of this show. FOX, get on that.
Well, we finally get some straight answers on David Palmer's mystery scandal when he meets his contact. The writers must have worked extra hard to come up with something that would not reflect poorly on David among the TV audience. So, instead of the Senator hiding an affair, some slush fund or the fact that he's Jewish, it turns out he's trying to protect his son! Oy vey... that's like hearing a candidate say "my biggest weakness is that I care too much about the people!" Well, the rumor here is that Keith threw some guy out of a high-rise for raping his sister. Okay, I could see how that might distract the presidential campaign. David's slimy political operator tells the Senator that he'll take care of this story. Uh-huh...
After some silly stuff involving Kim, Janet and a teenage male prostitute, we are mercifully given another great scene between Jack and Nina. Jack finally confronts Nina about her being a mole ("WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!?!?" sounds kinda catchy-- I hope Jack uses that again in future episodes/seasons). Anyway, Jamie goes up to Jack's office to sort out this whole mess and it turns out that the log-in records have someone using Nina's computer during the same weekend Jack and Nina were busy getting busy at some weekend retreat. So... Nina isn't the mole! Go back to work and let's focus our attention on Tony Almeida as the next suspect!
Yeah, yeah, but what's going on with Mandy and her girlfriend? Well, they eventually sort out a deal that gets them the extra million bucks and they all go to retrieve the buried ID card. Mandy's girlfriend is all excited about their hard-bargaining skills, but before you can say "Lilith Fair" one of Ira Gaines' snipers takes out the girlfriend, leaving Mandy available to do some more work for the guy.
As this unfolds, Kim and Janet continue in their own little "Grand Theft Auto" after-school special- fleeing the kidnapping stoners, befriending a male prostitute, stealing a cell phone off a pimp and then Janet getting run over by an American classic automobile- a '78 Pontiac Trans Am coupe! Woah! As Janet lay dying on the street, the stoners catch up to Kim and take her away to someplace hopefully nice. The Trans Am looks to be unharmed as well. Phew.
Well, before Jack can get too involved in trying to save the world, he has to answer a call from the wifey. Teri tells Jack that their daughter is a party girl. Jack is angry, not at Kim per se, but at Teri for being such a latecomer to the game. Meanwhile, father-of-the-year Alan York (remember him? father to Kim's friend Janet) tells Teri and Jack that he's scared of staying outside too long and he has to pee and eat graham crackers (in that order). Jack wants nothing to do with this nonsense, and he reminds them both that their daughters are more important than slipping on pajamas and nodding off to Seinfeld reruns. Alan and Teri agree. They remain at the furniture store for their daughters to arrive.
Back at the Assassin's Retreat, Mandy (clothed, but no bra) and the scumbag terrorist "buyer" of the ID card (Ira Gaines) have to sort out some details, like whether or not he's going to pay Mandy and her female cohort the originally agreed upon price of $1 million or the new double-cross special "discount" of $2 million! Ira Gaines... hmmm, that sounds like a character a bank would invent to market Roth-IRA accounts. "Enjoy your gains made from an IRA!" Okay, I promise, that's the last one of those jokes I'll do tonight! Sorry!
And the target of these plotting villains is still missing! Senator Palmer disappeared last hour for some heretofore unknown shenanigans. In his wake, he has left his beautiful, loving wife Sherry and their children to deal with added Secret Service protection. It pains me to see such good, stable people put through this kind of stress. Oh, and Aaron Pierce calls David Palmer's kid "son" (thankfully not "boy"). That would have not gone over well.
At a small airfield, the purple love van pulls up and a new thread of evil is revealed! The stoner college guys call their "boss" finally! They are in cahoots with Ira Gaines! They have some quick chat about "the Bauer girl" and thus offici- wait, a moth just flew by me, I have to kill it. Be right back...
OK- the moth is dead, what was I saying? Yes, Kim is a moth to flame of danger. I hope she learns her lesson this season and stays out of trouble in the future! Oh, and to shut Janet up from whining about her brutally broken arm, the stoners give her some heroin. So, to shut someone up like... say, Nancy Grace, all I gotta do is give her some black tar? Done!
On the streets of LA, Senator David Palmer drives with confidence. Why, you ask? Because he's in good hands, people. And when he pulls into one of the most dangerous parking garages in one of the worst neighborhoods in the city, the spirit of Jobu comes to his aid when a thug swings at him with a baseball bat. The thug's friend recognizes Palmer in a really geographically misplaced NY accent. I guess this is what happens to guys when their "entourage" goes belly-up. Anyway, the thug gets a brief lesson in crime statistics from Palmer, and he replies by smashing in Palmer's rear windshield. That's alright, the senator has accident forgiveness.
Upon Jack's return to CTU, we get a healthy dose of some excellent cat-and-mouse dialogue. Jack tasks Jamie (a trusted student of the newly-dead Richard Walsh) with unloading all of the plot-revealing data on the ID card Jack recovered. He also wants confirmation that Nina Myers is the mole, which this card could provide. So, while Jamie is furiously trying to confirm the ID card's origins, Jack and Nina have a great scene of adult verbal chess in his office. This is a highlight of the season so far- Sarah Clarke is something wonderful in this role. You know she can lie like nobody's business, but you also want her to be good. Keifer and Sarah Clarke are a fantastic combination. And the scene they share here is brilliantly written. Jamie calls Jack while he's in his office with Nina and confirms that Nina is the mole. Jack, stone-faced sends Nina off to do some photocopies. This is getting quite good.
What could make this better? How about Mandy making out with her girlfriend? What is this show I've stumbled upon? Or how about Kim somehow escaping from the stoners with her banged-up, junked-up best buddy? And that Kim and Janet somehow end up in South Central LA on foot where they were just at an airfield minutes earlier? Lesbians and Time Traveling Junkies. That should be the name of this show. FOX, get on that.
Well, we finally get some straight answers on David Palmer's mystery scandal when he meets his contact. The writers must have worked extra hard to come up with something that would not reflect poorly on David among the TV audience. So, instead of the Senator hiding an affair, some slush fund or the fact that he's Jewish, it turns out he's trying to protect his son! Oy vey... that's like hearing a candidate say "my biggest weakness is that I care too much about the people!" Well, the rumor here is that Keith threw some guy out of a high-rise for raping his sister. Okay, I could see how that might distract the presidential campaign. David's slimy political operator tells the Senator that he'll take care of this story. Uh-huh...
After some silly stuff involving Kim, Janet and a teenage male prostitute, we are mercifully given another great scene between Jack and Nina. Jack finally confronts Nina about her being a mole ("WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!?!?" sounds kinda catchy-- I hope Jack uses that again in future episodes/seasons). Anyway, Jamie goes up to Jack's office to sort out this whole mess and it turns out that the log-in records have someone using Nina's computer during the same weekend Jack and Nina were busy getting busy at some weekend retreat. So... Nina isn't the mole! Go back to work and let's focus our attention on Tony Almeida as the next suspect!
Yeah, yeah, but what's going on with Mandy and her girlfriend? Well, they eventually sort out a deal that gets them the extra million bucks and they all go to retrieve the buried ID card. Mandy's girlfriend is all excited about their hard-bargaining skills, but before you can say "Lilith Fair" one of Ira Gaines' snipers takes out the girlfriend, leaving Mandy available to do some more work for the guy.
As this unfolds, Kim and Janet continue in their own little "Grand Theft Auto" after-school special- fleeing the kidnapping stoners, befriending a male prostitute, stealing a cell phone off a pimp and then Janet getting run over by an American classic automobile- a '78 Pontiac Trans Am coupe! Woah! As Janet lay dying on the street, the stoners catch up to Kim and take her away to someplace hopefully nice. The Trans Am looks to be unharmed as well. Phew.
