In as much as the "Events occur in real time" can be believed, this episode pulled off about three episodes of plot, action and twists.
|"These gunrunners aren't like T-Rexes, they can see you even if you're completely still."|
|"Listen, he watched JURASSIC PARK too many times and it got him killed."|
Back at Gabriel's treehouse of terror, the CTU Geek Squad happily informs the team that they found a ton of valuable intel, so Grimes redeemed himself in the end. I still wonder why Gabriel told Carter "I don't deal with terrorists" just before killing himself last episode. Anyway, we learn that Gabriel imported Jadallah bin-Khalid and his band of terrorists in a shipping container marked as livestock. This one's a head-scratcher because Customs usually gets antsy if you try to bring beef jerky in from another country, let alone living animals! Gabriel kept great records though- he had copies of the bad guys' fake passports, all having the same home address, which happens to be their real hideout. Huh?
Mullins tells Locke to go to the address and to bring Carter along since he's a motivated guy! Let's ignore the grand theft auto and stolen, CLASSIFIED, missile plans Carter used to get to Gabriel too. Mullins is either very smart or very dumb, but the writers seem to not care which is the case because we need to keep Carter onscreen for the action. In the car ride over to the bin-Khalid's hideout, Locke even tries to ease the earlier tension by complimenting Carter on how he cleaned his rifle. Carter, like all of us watching, basically tells Locke to shut the hell up. This undoubtedly sends Locke back to his well-worn copy of "How To Win Friends and Influence People" which he keeps in his breast pocket. I sure hope you're better at shooting bad guys, Locke.
Before the CTU tac team can make it to bin-Khalid's house, some no-good, lousy freelance journalist (a "stringer," as they call it on 24: LEGACY) publishes a TV news report showing Gabriel's place crawling with law enforcement. If you've seen the film NIGHTCRAWLER, you'll know how these folks operate- they monitor the local police band and show up to get whatever footage they can, which they later sell to a news station. Mullins and Ingram (yeah, she's still on the show!) realize that this will tip off bin-Khalid that his location has been compromised- and they're right. One of the terrorists (tired of monitoring the local police band apparently) was watching Rachael Ray peeling a mango, when the local news broke in with a SPECIAL BULLETIN about a no-name warehouse where a bunch of police cars are hanging out with their lights on. "Jadallah! Mangoes are rich in vitamins and fiber and Gabriel's house has been invaded!" The terrorists immediately close up operations and evade capture by CTU. DAMN IT!
|"Billy, reach for the knife, I dare you! I double dare you!"|
Papa calls 911 and within a minute his call's transcript is sent to CTU. Okay, fine, I guess we need to remember that this is a TV show, but let's go easy on the whole "Your government and its agencies are faster than a Dunkin Donuts drive-thru" schtick. However, this leads to the single most ridiculous sequence of the season so far- Mullins calls a Port Authority officer who's stationed on the bridge's upper level. Officer Jenkins is having an iced coffee and listening to James Taylor's Greatest Hits when Mullins orders him to start walking on the bridge that is full of speeding cars so he can intercept the box truck full of explosive fertilizer. Jenkins actually does this, almost getting clipped several times along the way. But he spots the truck and immediately shoots at the driver, stopping it cold! Wow, look at Jenkins! Before Jenkins can secure the scene, Mullins excitedly calls Jenkins' cell phone to ask him how it feels to be a badass American hero. "Uhh, Mullins, I gotta check to see if the driver's really down, oh I found the trigger, it's in her dead hand, OH NO SHE'S NOT DEAD!"
And then the bomb goes off.
The explosion takes out the middle section of the bridge and many people die. I won't go into my genuine feelings on this because 24 is a fictional show and it isn't meant to be taken seriously. Let's just say that I don't derive any entertainment from seeing something like that happen.
|Here's the traffic cam from Narnia or some other mythical, bullshit realm.|
Odds and ends: Carter was without his CarterClutch™ for the second episode in a row and it's no coincidence that events are spiraling out of control. Also, Jadallah bin-Khalid and his crew managed to kidnap Isaac and Nicole while taking out a CTU Uber vehicle and a bunch of Isaac's worst shots. Jadallah calls up Carter and says "I need tech support to fix my busted thumb drive or else your brother and wife will be forced to watch the 22 hours of Rachael Ray I have on my DVR!" "JADALLAH YOU MONSTER!"
Next week, Carter shoots Jadallah('s DVR). OH AND THE ONE TRUE SOULPATCH IS BACK!