Monday, May 10, 2010

24 Season 8: 12PM-1PM Quick Review

Previously on 24: Jack killed Dana Walsh and millions of TV viewers popped champagne corks...

Chico, Jr. proves he is not Mike Doyle in the first ten seconds of the episode. Nice positive ID on your ex, Chico!

Meanwhile, Jack reviews the super-secret recording in which only half the video is spoken in English. What's with this Ruskie dude's warbling? This actor makes Walter Koenig sound like a genuine Soviet Socialist.

Jack contacts Mr. Blonde seeking an ID on the Russian Mush-Mouth (Rush-Mouth). Mr. Blonde asks if Jack wants to ID the woman in the video too. Jack delivers the deadpan "She's dead" in reply, which was probably the funniest moment of this joyless season of the show. When Jack gets to Mr. Blonde's "Fortress of Soldiertude" he is forced to tell Mr. Blonde that he's wants revenge, not justice. Revenge is good enough for Mr. Blonde, and he gives Jack the name of the Russian.

Jack, showing he's the craftiest dude on the planet, calls the one reporter that gives a damn about who killed President Hassan- Jessica Stein. It takes Jack twenty seconds to convince Jessica Stein to help take down the whole system. Word!

Back at CTU, Chico, Jr. faces down Logan's lapdog in a fantastic act of useless heroism. It turns out the keywords "Hassan" "coverup" "lying bastards" "Russian sons of bitches" turns of a hit on the NSA's listening station! America, you've been warned about the NSA's abilities to infiltrate your phone conversations. So, the next time you want to discuss "underage girls" and "Lawrence Taylor" be prepared for an inquisition. Logan's manservant ditches his worthless conversation with Chico, Jr. and decides to let his supermodel assistant take over the investigation. Ah, the evil ones are so sexy and brilliant!

Speaking of sexy and brilliant, Charles Logan is told of this "major break" and he lavishes his manservant with ridiculously premature praise. Little do these bastards know that Chloe O'Brian is still Chloe and she will not take a cover-up standing down. Dissatisfied with the evil that surrounds them, Arlo and Chloe band together to cut through the cloudy walls of CTU. Who knew Arlo would finally become useful? Mazel tov!

Back in Loganville, Charles is back to ordering the murder of innocent individuals, giving Rush-Mouth the greenlight to kill Jessica Stein. There's something to be said for the professional killer-- Rush-Mouth won't off anyone without a work order. Right on, guy- we live in a world of procedural red-tape and bureaucratic back-stabbing. You get that authorization to kill an innocent person! That will absolutely absolve you of any murder charge if this whole villainous enterprise goes belly-up! Yikes...

Back at the UN, everyone has returned to their assigned seats and resumed the useless negotiations that were supposedly done hours ago. President Taylor looks like hell and the woman who lost her husband has to comfort the US President. Oh, what a world! Logan is busy creeping out Taylor in a side chat, insisting that he get some Presidential high-five for all of his awesome evildoing in making this false peace accord happen. Logan, ever the king of devious dealings senses that Taylor is losing her resolve. Will she give up the whole process at the last minute? Who knows? But Logan is now nervous, and when he gets nervous, people start dying right quick!

Jack goes to meet Jessica Stein in a turkey shoot at a shopping mall. Just as it appears that Jack will die (yeah, right) Mr. Blonde neutralizes Rush-Mouth. Even so, Logan's lackey has the whole place crawling with evildoers. Jack has to neutralize those guys on his own, escaping with Jessica Stein, Mr. Blonde and Rush-Mouth in tow. It's professionalism at its best. If I can do anything in my life with such cold efficiency as Jack Bauer, I will die a happy man. He is a national treasure, an example of the next step in human evolution. Mr. Bauer, I salute you!

Busy picking out his "comeback necktie" Logan gets the worst phone call possible from his lackey. The lackey tells Chuck to get the heck out of town, distance himself from the whole gathering shitstorm and let Taylor take the fall. To the lackey's dismay, Chuck says "No dice, kill Jack Bauer." Ordering it doesn't make it so, Chuck. The lackey knows this is a terrible idea, but he does what lackeys do, he follows his boss' terrible orders.

Arlo and Chloe work their laptops into a lather, trying to get an ID on Mr. Blonde so they can warn Jack of what he already knows- that Russians are out there trying to kill him. I'm not sure that Chloe realizes Jack's in the loop in a big way.

Back at the Fortress of Soldiertude, Jack gets to tell Rush-Mouth that he's going to make the guy's remaining minutes on Earth a miserable experience. Jack also informs Rush-Mouth that he assassinated the wrong redhead. Jessica Stein needs to be taken to another room for a "time-out" with Mr. Blonde. Holy Mother, I'm getting spun around by my own nicknames at this point!

Anyway, the interrogation starts with Rush-Mouth taunting Jack by saying "I keeeeel your bitch!" which only invites Bauer to commit a vicious attack on the dumb, cocky Ruskie. And things only get worse from there. Jack does everything he can to coax the Russian to talk. Nothing works... Jack realizes that the SIM card from Rush-Mouth's evil phone is missing and determines that it rests quietly in the poor bastard's gut. So, without even asking, Jack disembowels the dude, sorting through pierogies and a Snickers® bar to find the card. Wow. Viewer discretion is well-advised for tonight's episode! Jack puts the card into the phone and calls the last number, which conveniently identifies itself as the voicemail of President Charles Logan. Alright, now it's on for real!


B said...

Speaking of sexy and brilliant, Charles Logan...

He he he. Now that is the funniest thing I've read in a long while. I almost laughed out loud, and actually had to stop reading mid-sentence just to say how much I approve. :)

(Thumbs up!)

B said...

::A few paragraphs further...::
Oy ve, your nicknames are confusing me! I can remember the Jessica Stein = Meredith Reed one. But every time I see "Mr. Blonde" I inaccurately think "Pillar" b/c he's got the whole light eyes, light hair color scheme. And when I see "Rush-Mouth" I picture an amalgamation of Alaskan sled dogs, tacky conservative newscasters and who knows what else before I finally make the "Pavel" connection.
To each his own. :)

B said...

Alright, I’ma list my own thoughts without bouncing them off The Review so meticulously, b/c I’m finding that doing so makes it harder for me to retain them.

#1) When Freddy Prinze was being “given a talking to” by Pillar the Lackey (who I see in my mind as light blue and silver), I was almost about to give him props for neither over- nor under-acting this one. Almost. Then he did something to show how easily his character is still manipulated, and I just threw up my hands thinking, “Whatever, Freddy Prinze. I give up on you.”

#2) Okay, the scene where Logan is selecting his “comeback necktie”? Mother Ef. He looks so happy and optimistic, just like any old guy with bags under his eyes picking out a nice tie to wear. Why does he have to make this so hard for me to judge him? I mean, he’s fairly evil, I’m pretty sure I hate him, and yet…when he looks like a vulnerable old guy I just can’t help but feel some sort of sympathy – not pity, sympathy – toward him. Mother freaking Ef. I feel like such uncontrollable sympathy somehow puts one at a disadvantage in the real world. I should probably try to stifle that, stat.

#3) Chloe and Arlo putting their heads together in a covert makeshift work station surrounded with laptops and techno gear? How cute is that. Go, team super awesome nerds. You kick butt in the only way you know how.

Yeah, so I’d like to write more, but let’s face it, I’m freakin tired. So…yeah. Later gators. :)

Brian Pelts said...

When Jack got Chuck's voicemail, his OMGWTF look made me yell out "AW, FUCK!" (Seriously, my neighbors are probably ready for 24 to end since I end up yelling every week now.) And I'm glad Jack has come to terms with the fact that he wants vengeance, not justice. It helps us root for all the killin'.

Speaking of the killin'...Fellas, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a Russian...And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock! (I need either a hobby or a girlfriend.)

Seeing the wear and tear of her slide into evil taking a toll on President Taylor was a nice touch. Her failure is almost complete. And I'm loving that the musical cues for Jack's scenes are getting more and more creepy and disjointed, like him. Kudos!

Sunny said...

@ Adam - I love your re-caps because I can relive the entire hour all over again. BTW, I thought for sure Jack would find a partially digested knish in there somewhere.

@ Brian - love the Jaws reference.

55 said...

I've seen every episode and loved them all, but that torture scene was hard to watch. Logan is so dead.

I really like the way they shifted Jack's character over these 8 seasons. Seasons 1-4.9, he was a loyal soldier, ready to do the government's bidding. Now he has so much evidence that the government is corrupt- being ready to hand him over to the Chinese in the S4 finale, Logan's shenanigans in S5 (and him walking away), their refusal to get him out of China until they needed him, and now Taylor- that he just doesn't give a shit anymore. He's going to take down the American president and a few Russian officials while he's at it.

Brian Pelts said...

The most striking part of the torture scene for me wasn't how brutal it was so much as Jack's unfettered contempt for everyone. "You stupid son of a bitch, you swallowed it, didn't you?" I'm racking my brain but I can't recall a time he talked shit during torture like it was the And 1 Mixtape tour.

Rickey said...

Arlo, useful? Bah, it was the blatantly introduced Sprint Wireless mobile hotspot that did all the work! Available now, at your local Sprint Wireless retailer!

David's Harp and Pen said...

I'm drawing a blank. What is the Jessica Stein reference? Was she someone famous or a past character on "24?"

Cirroc said... I am new to your time, I still must say that this world of '24' continues to at least confuse me (bloody death was business-as-usual in my time...)

...B U T ! ! !....

WHHHYYYYY!!! does Jean-Luc Bauer reprise his disembowling of the Borg-Russian to retrieve the datachip AS HE DID IN 'STAR TREK - FIRST CONTACT"???

Anonymous said...

I truly enjoyed the recap, but not nearly as much as the filthiest pair of pliers I've ever seen, the creative use of a Berzomatic plumbing torch and finally the "let's play operation" - oops - buzz buzz buzz recovery of the SIM card. That was television magic.

Charlie said...

Maybe it's because the darker corners of the internet make you numb after awhile, but Jack's torture scene seemed rather boring. Not sure they can really do anything else this season that would surprise me, short of killing Jack. And that would only surprise me because, of course, we're expecting a movie.

I know I need to stop complaining about it every week, but this episode and the whole season have just dipped into "meh" territory. I think the writers and the actors have got to the point of going through the motions. I think now it's just a matter of putting a (rotten?) cherry on top of a melting sundae. About the only positive thing I can say is that Kiefer's performance as dark side Jack over the last few hours has been better than ever.

I don't think it's so much that Jack is admitting he's out for vengeance so much as that he's admitting that there's no justice in this situation (if there ever is). The highest levels of government are corrupted beyond reproach, and you can't look to the gubmint for justice this time (and based on previous seasons in Jack's world, could you ever?).

I think Cole said something to the effect of there being no good guys left anymore. Maybe Jack sees that and just figures that by now maybe vengeance is the best case scenario.

(Then again I wasn't impressed by the "revenge isn't justice" speech Bruce Wayne received in Batman Begins, for example. I don't mind a bit of vigilantism-blurring-into-vengeance as a plot device.)

J. Todd Hatcher said...

"the "let's play operation" - oops - buzz buzz buzz recovery of the SIM card"


Seriously, though I just got done watching, and wow...I have nothing to add. As pissed as I was when they killed Renee, I'm loving the "Screw it, it's the last season, let's send it all to hell" attitude. That double "Viewer Discretion Advised" warning was well deserved.

And it's already been said - but Logan is just so completely boned.

Anonymous said...

OH. EM.GEE. is about all I can say about this episode.

Chloe was great. She's finally kinda come back to the good side.

And that torture? Oh geez. I was confused about the Viewer Discretion is Advised coming up again until I realized what was coming and knew it was gonna be baaaaaaaaaad. And it was, BUT IT WAS AWESOME.

and Jack's face when he heard Logan's voice? Fabulosity.

I know some of ya'll talked about blogging about other are some of the major ones I watch:

Doctor Who (which will be my post 24 addiction)
House MD

Ya'll feel free to hit me up if you ever wanna discuss them! Imma start a Doctor Who vs Jack Bauer on Facebook right now, lol

Stefernie said...

Oh that was me Stefernie btw

Anonymous said...

Great recap!

Appreciate it, and really looking forward to watch another series with all you guys in the future :)

B said...

(@Pelty) ...the musical cues for Jack's scenes are getting more and more creepy and disjointed, like him. He he. Creepy and disjointed. I LIKE it.

(@Stef?) Imma start a Doctor Who vs Jack Bauer on Facebook right now... Um, I kind of can't believe you'd say this. I don't even need to have ever seen Doctor Who to know that there is clearly only one winner here. The only person who beats out Jack Bauer in this contest is Jesus.

And re: the torture... It sounds like some of you guys thought it was too intense while others thought it was lame. Personally, I was more excited for this torture scene than I was for the sex scene a few weeks ago. So what if that is several different kinds of wrong.

Granny Annie said...

Why, why, why didn't they just leave us alone when we didn't care that 24 was coming to an end? But noooooooooo, they had to twist the knife and move us to the edge of our seats and now we're going to see this show off with bitter tears. Why, Why, Why?????

Brian Pelts said...

@Brittany - Personally, I was more excited for this torture scene than I was for the sex scene a few weeks ago. So what if that is several different kinds of wrong.

Marry me.

And for the record, I love me some Doctor Who. No surprise, since I'm a towering dork, but still. Let that be known.

Anonymous said...

Did no one catch Jack's homage to one Marsellus Wallace? Google Pulp Fiction quotes. I'll wait.

J. Todd Hatcher said...

Oh yeah, with the pliers and blowtorch. He got medieval on Pavel's ass.

Brian Pelts said...


B said...

Marry me.

He he he. Now why can't people the real world appreciate my bloodlust as much as you guys seem to? In real life people just look at me with raised eyebrows and try not to trip on whatever's behind them as they back their way toward the nearest exit. Good thing you guys aren't so easily intimidated.


(P.S. - Go Jack Bauer, go. [I had to stick him in here somewhere, no? ;) ])

Dr. Alice said...

I just... Geez. That torture scene was ghastly. Writers? Little redemption, maybe a hint that Jack has some sort of conscience left, would be nice.

It is interesting though to see that the writers aren't trying to paint Jack as a hero anymore. The scene with the reporter proved that. He gambled with her life and doesn't give a damn.

The Logan picking out a necktie scene was awesome, as were his facial expressions while listening to Pilar's bad news. Itzin is bringing his A game, no question about it!

brandon curtis said...

@David's Harp and Pen

Jessica Stein is a character from Kissing Jessica Stein (played by Meredith Reed herself, Jennifer Westfeldt) which is probably the best straight girl falls for a gay girl and doesn't get a fist stuck in her romantic comedy of all time.

Also, romantic comedies with Westfeldt are really good, I recommend Ira and Abby as well as How to Lose Your Lover.

Brian Pelts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian Pelts said...

I had to stick him in here somewhere, no?

[vader]All too easy...[/vader]

Dr. Alice said...

Note to all Russian agents: the next time you're tied up and an angry man is standing in front of you with a pair of pliers in his hand, try to avoid using the phrase "I keel your beetch."

Adam: what you said about Aaron being the moral center of the show was completely true. There is no moral center left. I'm still watching but not really enjoying it as I used to.

B said...

@Dr. Alice - You know, I really like your comments (even if I may not always agree with them). I also like your use of the word “ghastly” to describe the torture scene. Very evocative.

It is interesting though to see that the writers aren't trying to paint Jack as a hero anymore.
Yes, that is interesting. Mostly because I’m not sure if it had really occurred to me yet. Or if I agree. Or how I’d feel about it if I did. (So many questions!)

Did his “use” of Meredith Reed really prove anything? He did gamble with her safety (and win - so far), but he’s done that since day one, hasn’t he? Jack Bauer has always put the end result ahead of the means he uses to get there. What makes the present scenario any different? Is it just because the “end result” now seems less blatantly altruistic than it has in the past, so suddenly “the ends justifies the means” doesn’t fly anymore? Are you only allowed to take major risks if your mission is unambiguously for the greater good? Hmm… Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts… (::see, this is what I like, the deep reflective stuff::)

And who’s to say that this mission is not in many respects for a greater good, to serve a higher purpose? I mean sure, even Jack has admitted that he wants to “make the Russians pay” for what they did, by taking Renee (GRR, GRR, angry face, GRR). But there is so much more than that at stake here as well, isn’t there? Or am I delusional? Because the way I saw it, a select few of the most powerful people in the world were involved in some deeply f*cked up shit, no longer heeding any sense of right or wrong, and adamantly refusing to let any of it become known. (He he…the definition of politics? JUUUST kidding. ;) ) I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a situation worth doing something about. If you can. Which Jack Bauer (-as always-) can.

I also don’t see how “the torture scene” (sheesh, it should just get a name) indicates that Jack has no conscience left. I mean, he needed to get the information from the guy he was torturing, didn’t he? And Pavel certainly wasn’t going to talk without a heavy dose of coercion. Furthermore, the information that Jack obtained through this interlude is important and useful. I mean, some very serious shit is being covered up. He wouldn’t’ve even needed to torture the guy in the first place if those responsible for the coverup had just played by the rules (done the right thing and been honest) themselves. So if nobody else is going to play by the rules, why should Jack have to? Furthermore, how can we expect him to play by these one-sided rules, at a clear disadvantage under those who are disregarding them, and be able to make any headway? ( mind is suddenly streaming vague flashes of guerilla warfare...)
Hmm... ... ...

I've still got quite a few more thoughts about this (and Logan with his *comeback necktie* :) ), but I'm starting to feel like maybe I sound like a guiltltess sociopath; so maybe I'ma try to cool it for now. There's such a thing as "blurting with discretion"...right?

@Pelty - [vader]All too easy...[/vader]

…I don’t get it. I’m pretty sure I’m missing something that’s flying right over my head, but I don’t know what it is. (?) 

Brian Pelts said...

Heh. That makes it even better.

Sunny said...

@ Adam - Are you up for a challenge. I just discovered this site where you can make your own animated movies. You choose your characters, type in your dialogue and direct the action by mostly drag and drop. I found the site through a blog from Stephan Pastis. He is the creator of Pearls Before Swine. Here are some examples of

Since you are the most creative 24 fan I know I thought it might be fun if you could put together something for your blog fans.

Go to

Dr. Alice said...


Those are all fair questions. And as always in 24, events are open to more than one interpretation. But, yes, I'll stick with my original statement that Jack is no longer a hero. Somebody on the TWoP boards said it better than I did: Jack has always been a renegade, but now he's a vigilante, which he was not before. He was ready to bow out at the end of Hour 16. Granted, we didn't know the Russians were involved then but even if he had gotten hold of that news some other way he would, I believe, have handed it over to Chloe and Chico Jr. to deal with and stayed in bed with Renee. The only reason he's still in the game is because he's pissed about Renee.

Let's go back to "Jessica Stein" (the journalist). He endangered not only her, but the lives of dozens of innocent bystanders in that shootout. He could have picked a less public place and/or he could have chosen his words better on the phone so as not to tip off the NSA.

Now the Russian guy. It was inevitable that he would die, given that he shot Renee. But that tape is hard evidence - why the need to interrogate the guy in the first place? Once Jessica Stein broke the news the cat would be out of the bag and CTU or the FBI would be free to investigate. There is no hurry here, it's a peace treaty for Pete's sake, not a bomb.

Also, Jack has lost his grip to the point that he didn't even think about checking the phone as a source of information. He should have done that FIRST. If the phone card is that important then yes, he would have wound up gutting the guy. But he could have shot him before he did that.

Lastly, what happens if Jack succeeds in his quest? He derails peace in the Middle East. Yes, he uncovers corruption in the process, but the ultimate outcome is continued war. I don't see "the greater good" in this case.

Sorry for long post, but those are my thougts. I will certainly continue to watch till the end - the show is still interesting - but I don't like where they've taken it.

Dietcoke said...

I really agree with you Dr. Alice.

TheJackSack said...

Hey gang-

Sorry I have not been responding over the past few days, I just started a new job that has been extremely time-consuming. I love what I'm doing, but it has taken over my life these past few days. The things we do for money...

I'm reading everything you've posted and I love the conversation going on. I plan on responding in the next day or so. Keep the discussion going in the meantime. Thank you all for making this site such a happening joint!

B said...
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Sunny said...

@ Brittany - I see Jack as a flawed hero. Jack always stands on the side of good. It's the president that is wrong. Our government has let Jack down on more than one occasion. While I normally don't agree with the Machiavelli attitude that the ends justify the means, Jack is dealing with extraordinary circumstances. He has saved thousands and thousands of lives doing what he does.

B said...

P.S. - Things That I Realized:

#1. There are only TWO (TWO TWO TWO TWO TWO) more weeks left of Jack Bauer 24 TV awesomeness. (What in the world are we going to write about - no better yet, do - after that? Sigh.)

#2. The show's writers, for all of their awesomeness, also happen to really really suck. I don't remember where I was reading it, but more than one interview has hinted at the fact that they basically make it up as they go (as if it wasn't already obvious). No over-arching plot developments, unfolding themes, character arcs, nothing. They plan a couple of starter plots and then run with it, mostly aiming for shock value after that. I feel as if they're a bunch of 12-year old boys sitting around trying to top each other's "awesome" ideas (by which I mean ideas that would sound awesome to a 12-year old boy, but anyone older than 12 would recognize as having major gaps and inconsistencies). They treat us like a bunch of 5-year olds who don't know any better and can't recognize it when they jerk with the plot and take their players way out of character (I mean, dark Renee aside, hellooooo, can anyone just say "President Taylor"? Where in the hell did her recent streak of suck come from? Oh yeah, that's right, "sucktastic-shock-value-quality-devoid left field." >:\ )

To paraphrase what Sherry Palmer would've said, "Bitch, please. Don't insult our intelligence." --Oh wait, it's too late.

B said...
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B said...
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Dietcoke said...

Brittany, good question about what a hero is. There are all kinds of heroes. I guess when I think of a hero I think of police officers, firefighters and those who fight for a cause bigger than themselves. Those who risk their life to rescue someone from a burning car. A parent who sacrifices their own wants and needs so their children will have a better live.

Not to say all of those people are good human beings but there is a side of them that puts others first.

Dietcoke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian Pelts said...

Just look on the bright side; two more weeks of OMG WE'VE PULLED OUT ALL THE STOPS IT'S SO DARK! bullshit and we get to hit the reset button and go back to the first season, when everything was awesome and new and the writers weren't lazy and insulting yet. Ahhhhh, deep cleansing breaths.

B said...

@*Dietcoke* - I guess when I think of a hero I think of...those who FIGHT for a cause bigger than themselves. Those who RISK their life to rescue someone...Not to say all of those people are good human beings but there is a side of them that puts others first. --Word. Simply put (which I fail at), but word. Heroes don't sit back while others take action; they put themselves in the middle of it when necessary.

@Pelty - ...when everything was awesome... Yeah, touché, touché. It'd be nice to go back to the good old days of 24 when Jack Bauer's escapades revved me up & got me pumped about life, instead of just making me feel gloomy, depressed, angry, and like hurting someone. Long live the Bauer power!
(Oh, and P.S. - I figured out what you were getting at earlier...and I guess I did kinda bring that one on myself. He he. Whoops! :) )

@Adam - I plan on responding in the next day or so. Rrright... ;) Just teasing. Your words are missed, but on the bright side, at least you've got plenty of readers to tow the line when your life gets busy, yes? No? Maybe so? :)

Spencer said...

Well, it's immpossible to be a perfect, flawless hero.

I remember retaking a Biology test a few days ago, and I not only used the restroom when I wasn't supposed to, but I also listened to my ipod. But then I remeber thinking to myself "If the rules are gray, it doesn't matter if you follow them or brake them, you'll be gray too.", and I was like....DAMN, because I had come up with an awesome sentence, and was really proud of myself.

But that one line could be what the basic meaning of the entire series is, and what the writers have been trying to tell us, especially for the past two seasons.(Though they've made it a little forced this year.)

Brian Pelts said...

@Spencer - That's very Dark Knight. And also true. For all our aspirations, we're still flawed humans. And as someone who tends to shade towards the gray areas in life, kudos.

@Brittany - Better late than never, luv. Heh.

Spencer said...

@Brian - Thanks!

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