Monday, April 21, 2008

The Mustache

"A man without a mustache is like a cup of tea without sugar” -English Proverb.

What do you do when there's no "24" to watch? Join a community volunteer group? Reconnect with old friends? Write the great American novel? No, no, no-- that's all way too ambitious. The answer to this question is quite simple: you grow a mustache.

My office is a place where college never seemed to end for a lot of people. I've been out of undergrad since well... since Bill Clinton was president. But being in marketing and advertising makes for a very playful and downright unprofessional work environment. So, a handful of us were lamenting a couple of weeks ago about the death of the mustache-- a once proud style of the accomplished man. One person asked "Who was the last sitting president to wear a mustache?" The answer: William Howard Taft, who incidentally was our last portly commander-in-chief too. That's right, in nearly 100 years the mustache has been in exile from The White House. But the mustache's decline is further widespread. '70s porn stars apparently ruined it for the rest of us.

So, a bunch of us here at work decided to make an effort to revive the faded 'stache. We are engaging in a mustache-growing contest. This thing started 2 weeks ago and the judging (which will be voted on by all the females in the office) will take place on May 2nd. Yours truly is growing a beard in the meantime and will shave down to the mustache for one day only. Am I a coward for doing it that way? Yes. But maybe after May 2nd, I'll realize the error of my ways and keep it the sucker for good. Hmmm....

Here's where I am as of now:

13 comments:

Haley said...

That picture is just...creepy.

Amd as for Taft being our last portly president, Bill Clinton wasn't exactly svelte.

Speaking of which, I can't hear the word "portly" anymore without attaching "pepperpot."

Lou said...

Push the judging back to May 5 and have a Cinco de Mustache party.

Had one last year and it was a blast.

Adam said...

Hey Lou!

Glad to see you're still kickin'.

Cinco de Mustache? Que intersante!

Rickey Henderson said...

Three weeks isn't enough time to grow a stache worthy of mention. Enjoy beard ownership while it lasts--if you need any pointers on beard upkeep, Rickey is readily available.

Gregg said...

The stache just reeks of class ... when I finally hit puberty and can grow one myself I'll join you ...

Haley said...

I agree with Rickey. GIVE UP AND SHAVE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Rickey Henderson said...

Well let's not get drastic here. Rickey was suggesting that when it comes to beard and/or moustache ownership, you either go big or you go home. (sorry Haley--Rickey's advocating the gung-ho approach).

You've actually got the same upper lip hair problems as Rickey does: a lack of connective hair directly underneath the nose. That can take some time to grow in.

A recommendation: before the moustaches are judged, go to a hair salon and have them trim your stache slightly. (Rickey can recommend someone who uses a $300 trimmer and does an excellent job). Doing this gives the illusion of having an evenly grown moustache and could just make you look respectible.

Haley said...

Ricky, Rickey...hush dear.

I'm officially taking Ms Henderson's side on this one -- you both need to give up this bizarre follicular hobby.

Rickey Henderson said...

After reading this post and looking at the picture, Ms. Henderson would like to express her gratitude that the moustache will be gone before May 4th.

Adam said...

Tomorrow is Mustache Day. We've called a truce. Tomorrow, I'll have pics.

Rickey Henderson said...

It's like Armistice Day, but hairyer!

Haley said...

Ding dong, the stache is dead! Which old stache? The wicked stache! Ding dong the wicked stache is deeeeeeead!

AmyV said...

So, Rickey gave us beard watch and you're giving us mustache watch?

I have to go with Haley, the picture is a wee bit creepy.

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