That's 11 months from now, folks. That's a whole new tax year. That's going to be AFTER the presidential election. Aside from having a new president sworn in, what other crazy things can we expect to see in that span of time?
CURRENT EVENTS PREDICTIONS:
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2. Bill O'Reilly will be found in a lascivious videotape starring him, a goat and Dick Morris.
3. Bill Clinton will finally divorce Hillary (or the other way around)! (Okay, no more Bill references-- I promise).
4. Someone, somewhere, for some odd reason, will attempt to clone Bob Newhart. It will work. And we will all suffer God's wrath as a result.
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6. Oil companies will buy banks troubled by the mortgage crises, and there will be nifty cross-promotions offered where you can direct-deposit your paychecks to your local gas station. A major player will be the newly formed "Exxon Trust." Cynics such as myself will laugh and cry simultaneously.
7. Andy Kaufman will come back. I will tell everyone "I told ya so" for about a month straight.
8. Betty White will curse on camera. Someone who is new to this sort of thing will laugh hysterically.
9. Oscar prediction: Daniel Day-Lewis will win Best Actor, or else... (fill in the name of his current movie here for the rest of the sentence!).
10. Global-freezing will become a problem. You think I'm kidding? You'll see!
ADAM'S PERSONAL LIFE PREDICTIONS:
1. I will boycott the 2008 Beijing Olympics because the Chinese Government tortured our friend and savior, Jack Bauer.
2. I will briefly reconsider my boycott when considering the fact that the Chinese also messed with Audrey Raines, who seriously had it coming.
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4. I will incorporate insoluble and soluble fiber into my diet. My colon will cheer in the way only a colon can make noise!
5. I will make something levitate by using my mind. No one will see this but me. I will be forever tormented by this transcendental moment. An overdose of fiber will be blamed on my hallucination.
6. I will do the dance of death with a sea crab while at the beach. My flip-flop will be the harbinger of death for the innocent, yet disgusting crustacean. My Rabbi will tell me I did not sin as long as I didn't eat the crab after the fact.
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8. I will deliver a baby of some sort.
9. I will still know how to ride a bike (in theory)!
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"24" returns in January, 2009. And all the pain will be washed away. Until then, stay tuned.
1 comments:
You have THE coolest blog. Glad yer back!
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