Monday, May 17, 2010

24 Season 8: 1PM-2PM Quick Review

Previously on 24: Jack is the smartest man on Earth. Tell me something I don't know!

Charles Logan is in the building! But for how long? I predict that Jack Bauer has something to say about that! And Logan's lapdog tells the former Commander-in-Thief that Jack is out for entrails- that justice is not the only thing on Jack's menu of death.

Jack tells Jessica Stein that she's in the same doghouse as he and Mr. Blonde. She is slow to understand what this situation means, so Jack has to demonstrate it by destroying her cellphone before her contract with Sprint® has expired. I hope she had insurance on that thing, but chances are she doesn't. Her cellphone book of uninspired gentlemen suitors dies in that very moment.

Logan, meanwhile, breaks it to Taylor that she's in a very presidential sort of trouble thanks to... well, his colossal screwups! And get this- he actually blames her for being such a dizzy broad! Wow- Logan really knows how to work a room. I have to say that, despite his evildoing, Logan is an amazing person. Insane? Sociopathic? Sure, but he'll kick your ass and make you apologize for taking it. This guy could teach us all a thing or two about life.

Back at CTU (the most passive agency throughout all of Day 8), Arlo and Chloe are pouring over surveillance footage of Jack's mall cop routine. They figure out that Jack's dead buddy, Mr. Blonde, is not dead. Sure, why not- a computer can't lie, right?

Speaking of Mr. Blonde, Jack has his buddy find Logan's location via the magic of computers. Mr. Blonde is kind of cranky about Jack's crazy plan, but like a real good friend, he makes only the obligatory "Jack, this is crazy" speech. This is who Jack always needed to work with-- a guy who is smart enough not to do the stuff Jack does, but is fully willing to enable his friend's trip off the cliff. It's like the bartender who feeds his patron a straight series of whiskeys and then says "Hey, maybe you should take a cab home- oh, by the way, I found your car keys on the bathroom floor, here ya go." Whatever lets you sleep at night, Blonde!

And Madame President is going off her own cliff- she advises the ubiquitous Tim Woods to CENSOR THE PRESS and violate the Constitution. Tim, ever the stalwart like Mr. Blonde, makes his obligatory protest and then says "Yes, Ma'am" in order to keep the plot moving along a ridiculous path. Rock on, Timmy!

Jack hauls his Jack Sack XXL all about Manhattan looking for a place to seize Logan. I would offer a product link to this duffel bag of justice, but none of you will buy it, and to anyone who would, I don't want to be a middleman in that transaction. You need help, people. I want you to promise me that you'll call a therapist. Please.

And then Darth Bauer shows up. Holy. Shit.

Wow. Words cannot describe the degree of awesome that unfolds. I will find that mask and I will link to where you can buy it. I give you my word. This year, all 24 fans are going as Darth Bauer for Halloween.

The entire world cannot fathom what's taken place. I'm sitting here questioning my ability to comprehend things as well. Jack Bauer took down a presidential limo (mind you a retired version, meant to carry former presidents, not the sitting one) and kidnapped the biggest bastard to ever walk this Earth.

Jack gets Logan alone and works him over good enough to get Logan to crack- which constitutes a little shoving and some yelling. That was hard! In Logan's defense, he spent a lot of time picking out that nice necktie, and Jack got it all wrinkled! Stupid, mean Jack!

Logan then gets dealt a patented Bauer-Sleeper hold- which gives Jack enough time to escape the area as Logan's lapdog closes in on their location. The lapdog is on the verge of tears when he sees his personal hero laying unconscious on the floor. He screams to his supermodel assistant "Eden! Eden! Logan's sleeping! OMFG! Eden we need smelling salts! Stat!" I am beginning to question the lapdog's mental health at this moment. Dude, Eden is where it's at! 

Eden, meanwhile, gives Chloe a hard time for reactivating Chico, Jr. Chloe's response: You lost Jack Bauer, you fat bitch. Owned. Chloe then has to explain to Chico, Jr. that he's allowed to find Mr. Blonde, but he has to keep his stupid mouth shut. Chico seems okay with this, and conversationally asks "Has Jack resurfaced yet?" Chloe deadpans "You can say that..." Awesome. 

Jack inflitrates Russian security so he can follow down Logan's intel on Minister Nopeaceinourtimeovich being the mastermind of the day's awful events. Jack runs into some Ruskie limo driver who gives up the goods on the security situation very succinctly. Finally, someone knows what to do! Just tell Jack what he wants to know already! We have 2-plus hrs to go! We're running out of time! (drinks). And then Jack kills a few more Ruskies in Grand Theft Auto style. This episode is epic. 

Jessica Stein gets a call into the most useless person imaginable, Hassan's daughter. She tells Kayla about the whole plot but gets nabbed by the FBI within seconds of making the call. Taylor learns of Stein's arrest and signs her own death warrant by saying "Keep that evidence for me only." 

Meanwhile, Minister Nopeaceinourtimeovich turns up all sorts of dead and everyone on the side of evil is concerned about what he may have told Bauer before being skewered like a kabob. So, what's the big secret? That the Russian President was the one behind it all! Logan and Yuri are apparently pals, even though Logan almost got this guy killed a few years ago. Nice... well, lucky for them, Jack had Logan's phone tapped the whole time. And Jack's now completely up to speed on who needs to die. Two hours of 24 left. If they are nearly as good as this perfect episode, we're going out in a big way. Is it possible to be better than perfect? Of course, you fools! Jack Bauer is going to show us how it's done. 

Wow.

128 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG I totally agree, the perfect episode. <3

Alli said...

I found the Hunting of Logan way more disturbing than the torture of Pavel. Logan's pure look of brick shit horror might have earned some subconscious empathy, I dunno. But it was awesome.

Spencer said...

I agree that this is one of the best episodes of the season so far. Overall, this season isn't as good as 7, but all we can do is hope to Christ that the finale really blows us away.

Sure, there have been some moments, such as Jack Bauer wearing glasses, and Renee dying, and Cole occasionally doing everything but coming close to being as whiny as Sandra Pamler, Tony not being anywhere to be seen, and Renee dying, and also Renee dying, where this season has done everything it can to prepare me for a little dissapointment for the ending, but I'm shaking it off. Oh yes, my expectations are as high as if I was watching a season 7 episode!

I do not ask for nonstop violence or a bloodbath, or an extremely beautiful and emotional ending, or a perfectly written script, because that would be a little unreasonable- ah, screw it.

MY EXPECTATIONS ARE RIGHTFULLY HIGH!!

Spencer said...

By the way, your photo deserves an award.

J. Todd Hatcher said...

Oooooooh my crap. Dude. This review perfectly sums up everything I'm thinking right now. Me and one of my pals literally just got done saying how we were going to wear that mask for Halloween next year.

"That's JACK BAUER!! HE'S COMING FOR ME!!!!"

My ONE complaint is that Jack didn't reference Season 5. I so wanted him to say something to reflect that those two had been in this situation (gun to Logan's head) before.

J. Todd Hatcher said...

And yes, that is one of the best in your long history of awesome photos.

TheJackSack said...

Guys, you're killing me! I cannot take credit for the pic- that's something I found online- but thank you for believing I could make that thing... on the fly, no less! Whoever made that pic was a genius, but not this genius ;)

Spencer said...

Jack Bauer 90 years from now?

Spencer said...

Adam - Well GOSH. You always make your own pics, so I just assumed you did it.

It's fine, though. Thanks for making me look like an idiot!

Spencer said...

Jesus Christ, am I unintentionally dominating this review? Someone shut me up, now.

Anonymous said...

Having watched 24 from the beginning, I have to say this is the worst season. It has become nothing more then a bloody revenge flick with little story. The writers have done an exceptionally bad job. Hopefully, Chloe will put Jack out of his misery.

Spencer said...

Anonymous(I can't believe I just wrote that)

So, you really think that this is worst than season 6?

Brian Pelts said...

I'm of two minds about this episode. On the one hand, I love the over-the-top action movie ultraviolence. On the other hand, I hate the writers and showrunners for letting this show devolve into over-the-top action movie ultraviolence. There were moments, awesome glimmers that almost made the desecration of everything this show used to be seem palatable, but it wasn't until the very end when the writers finally stopped ripping off first-person shooters and Heat long enough to give us a glimpse of the Jack Bauer of old: Planting a bug on Charles Logan so he can record the incriminating evidence that he knows Logan won't give up willingly. Boosh.

Basically, as far as I'm concerned they killed 24 hours ago in the name of "going out with a bang", and now they're just pissing on the corpse. This "compromised, dark, alone Jack" bullshit they promise to end with is going to leave a horrible taste in my mouth that no amount of movies can take away. I'll ride it out, because I love this show and always will, but what they've done with it makes me want to punch babies.

Brian Pelts said...

Ugh.

Just...ugh.

B said...

Wooow...
I have to say. As much as I LOVED loved LOVED loved LOVED Jack's super awesome POWER hunt for Logan, and especially Logan's BRILLIANT facial expressions during the sequence (pure GOLD - to the point that it actually DID earn him sympathy points with me and I loathe him)...after all the adrenaline comes down, I just feel really super bummed that the season - no, series - had to end with so much death and destruction.

I know, this coming from me.

I just ... boo hoo hoo ... I just wanted Jack to have a decently happy ending.

(P.S. Probably a completely absurd speculation but it just popped into my head, wouldn't it be something if that "major surprise ending" they've been talking about is that they were bluffing the whole movie idea all along, and Jack dies? Wait...that's right, I don't think they're that smart...)

Anonymous said...

Spencer, There have certainly been bad seasons of 24 like six, but this has just become watch Jack get his revenge. If the season had began with Jack being married to Renee, I would have been better able to accept Jack's rampage. I just find there is no story; even a bad one.

B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spencer said...

@Brian - There's a little truth to what you're saying. What really pisses me off is that the writers have completely stomped on what season 7 did for Jack, just so the show could, like you said, "end with a bang."

But....I'm sorry, I just can't give up on the series finale. Maybe, just maybe, it'll make sense out of all of this, and all of us, as the audience, can find the light and realise that we had nothing to worry about all along, and get the satisfaction that we've been anticipating.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TheJackSack said...

Re: Jack on the crazy train-

I see where a lot of you are coming from- it's disheartening to watch a hero like Jack Bauer turn into a "villain" of sorts. But I accept it in the overall story of the character- a man who has lost almost everyone he's loved to the evil deeds of others. I think that it's hard for any of us to really understand the mindset of a person in Jack's situation. We've watched hundreds of hrs of the man at work- but he's a richly complex piece of fiction despite our familiarity with him.

I don't think the writers have pushed Jack off the edge simply to give us a complete blow-out ending. I think it's always been their goal to chip away at this man's humanity and in the end of the series leave us all wondering who this guy is after all the dust settles.

Jack was a soldier. His skills in that capacity caused him to be recruited to serve his country as a counter-terrorist. And when he chose that assignment, Jack became involved in the highest levels of human depravity- and it changed his view of the world in the process.

There was a great discussion in last week's thread about heroism. In that debate, both sides made excellent points about whether Jack qualifies as a hero. If you could ask Jack honestly to answer that question about himself, I doubt he would consider himself heroic. He probably would view himself as a prisoner, caught in a world that continues to fail. And the worse his world becomes, the worse he becomes in response. Jack is a moral person to a fault. His values haven't changed from who he's always been, but he's decided that standing by and letting things continue as they have is unacceptable. This fascinates me to no end.

Many see those whom we view as terrorists as heroes. We've been on the receiving end of their acts in the real world, so we're obviously not sympathetic to their motives. But for those who view the world as a corrupt, cold place, a terrorist is a hero. Jack Bauer, the counter-terrorist, has become a terrorist himself. Is that forced symmetry by the writers? Not in my opinion, but I don't argue with those who feel otherwise. The terms "hero" and "terrorist" have become unclear now. Jack Bauer is truly alone now.

Spencer said...

@Anonymous - My advice is to give yourself a name, just anything that would make you distinct. All you have to do is click on select profile, then "name/url", than type in a name. There, you won't be "Anonymous" anymore. Horray.

Anyway,

"There have certainly been bad seasons of 24 like six"
You think so? In my opinion.

1, 7 - Love

3 - Really Like

2 - Like

5 - It's ok, but a little over the top

4 - Again ok, but a little boring

6 - sucked

8 - painfully dissapointing

"If the season had began with Jack being married to Renee, I would have been better able to accept Jack's rampage. I just find there is no story; even a bad one."

Agreed. Maybe this season should've been about Tony instead of Jack. Hell, I can tell Tony's missing, not as much as season 6, but it still lacks his presence.

I gotta respect the character for avoiding the only two crappy seasons.

TheJackSack said...

@Brittany- I don't know why your comments aren't showing up- they appear on my email but not on the site. I'm not sure what's going on, but hopefully they show up soon. I'm not censoring you (like Taylor censors the free press!)

Brian Pelts said...

@Spencer - Agreed. Carlos is the lucky one.

And I'm not gonna lie; if I'd have known from the start that this was gonna be the systematic 8-year destruction of a man, I probably would have passed. Through all the seasons, through all the torture sessions and executions and everything Jack did, he maintained a sense of honor; he did what was right. Now he's just a single-minded killing machine, putting an entire city in harm's way just because. I'm sorry, but it's a slap in the face to the character; not least of all because they took one of the most deeply textured characters in television history and used the motivation from every 80's kickboxer-seeks-revenge POS movie to unravel it. :(

TheJackSack said...

@Pelty- your vast appreciation of '80s kickboxing cinema lands you in my commenter hall of fame. Cheers, bud.

TheJackSack said...

@Allie & Hatch- yeah, Logan's fear was real- credit Gregory Itzin for making even the most awful human being a sympathetic character. But that's by design- to play with our emotions as Bauer goes over the line with his actions.

Brian Pelts said...

Finally, Jean-Claude Van Damme was good for something!

In my overall rage, I will admit that there were moments I loved tonight. First and foremost, Jack cage-fighting Logan. As I said on Twitter, MAKE HIM TAP!! And Chloe's deadpanned "You could say that..." gave me many lolz. At this point, my love for Chloe is like the universe; infinite and ever-expanding.

J. Todd Hatcher said...

I have no problem with the show ending like this, for pretty much everything Adam said (curse you for being so eloquent)! In fact, I always suspected that it would end with something like this. Jack has always been willing to cross some controversial lines to do what he thinks is right. Plus he's been pushed more than any man on Earth. Combine those two facts, and we arrive where we are now.

The government that he's done so much for has screwed him ONCE AGAIN, and he's finally reached the breaking point and isn't going to stop until he's cleaned house. I understand what Pelts is saying about 24 ultimately being about the destruction Jack Bauer, but I just find it intensely interesting.

B said...

(re: Adam's "hero" response)
If you could ask Jack honestly to answer that question about himself, I doubt he would consider himself heroic. He probably would view himself as a prisoner, caught in a world that continues to fail. (And the worse his world becomes, the worse he becomes in response.)
Oh this is so incredibly depressing and so true. It makes my heart break even more for him. I can't even grasp all of the emotions this stirs up. Man I love Jack Bauer! (!)

Jack Bauer is truly alone now.
I don't cry, but if I did this would probably do it.

Brian Pelts said...

I don't mind the story of someone's fall from grace, but you have to give us redemption. Sure, Jack can give in to hate and fear and end up in a black suit of armor, but at the end of the day at least let him throw the Emperor down an elevator shaft & clear his name.

brandon curtis said...

I guess the theme I noticed at the beginning of the season, that no one is allowed redemption was in fact the point all along. Perhaps, no one more tragically falls a victim to this than Jack Bauer.

And by "the point all along" I mean from the beginning. Tony doesn't get it, Renee, Jack, especially if you mirror the Bauer in any way you are fucked.You are the thing that is designed to be broken so that the rest of the world may be fixed. Such a notion breaks my brain.

Also, does anyone think that Jack watching "Synechdoche, New York" when all is said and done would be a thousand times appropriate?

P.S. Slasher Jack scares the hell out of me and I love it.

Anonymous said...

@ Adam re: Jack on the crazy train. I think I would have been more accepting of a Jack on the crazy train if Jack TRULY had nothing. But Jack now has a loving relationship with his daughter Kim, who risked her life to save him, and a beautiful granddaughter and now it seems like they are nothing to him.

That's the big issue for me. Why did he forget about his family?

Brian Pelts said...

Because the writers did.

B said...

Oooh, dang. Called that one out.

::I reiterate my post above regarding said writers::

Dietcoke said...

I think this episode was very exciting and well acted by Gregory Izen. He was so fun to watch. Loved that Jack now knows how high all of this goes.

I think I might say this is the best episode of the season.

That said, I'm not enjoying or believing Jack's evolution into Darth Bauer. I understand Howard's love of the classic tragic hero. They either must die, kill themselves, go crazy or evil. Jack seems to have done a bit of all of them.

The character of Jack seems to have died and become a one-dimentional kind of Rambo-type. The layers of the character are gone. While I can see Adam's point about what happens to someone when they are always betrayed after giving so much and suffered so much loss that it might send them over-the-edge into King Lear maddness.

The big chunk in this that doesn't work for me is that Jack DOES have something to live for. Not ALL has been taken from him. It makes it look revenging Renee and Hassan are simply more important to him than his family. That just doesn't work with Jack 1-7.

This new Jack just doesn't ring true to character for me.

Brian Pelts said...

Yeah, as much as I rolled my eyes at Grand Theft Bauer, Logan's freakout was awesome. "JACK BAUER'S COMIN', AND HELL'S COMIN' WITH HIM!!!"

55 said...

Props to Itzin for capturing how terrified I was when I saw Jack turn into Shredder.

Also, some of your whining is hilarious. This show has never been about giving fans the happy ending that they want. Never. If it was, they wouldn't have killed off Teri or David Palmer, and they wouldn't have turned Tony into a criminal. The real world sucks and is depressing and not everyone gets redeemed. It fits right in with what the writers have always done (even at the end of day 7, there was still the chance that Jack dies).

Anonymous said...

There is no way the series could end on a positive note for Jack. I just can't see him as one of those heroes riding off into the sunset...

Dietcoke said...

I don't think many people, certainly not me, expected or even wanted Jack to ride off into the sunset. It just wouldn't work for the show IMHO.

I would have expected that they would have kept the character of Jack the same and not made him insane.

Michael J. Wong said...

Found it the mask:http://shop.ehobbyasia.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/e/a/ea-mask-army2-bk_1_mark_3.jpg

Sold out at http://shop.ehobbyasia.com/ea-army-of-two-plastic-full-face-mask-original-type.html

So I guess it's also a mask that's used from the game Army of Two.

Anonymous said...

Come on... Jack was always an Army of One. He's the unstoppable force, and every season is just one more series of objects that learn that lesson.

Final episode quiz:

1. Does Jack live?
2. Does Logan live?
3. Does Yuri live? [should be half points]
4. Does Taylor live?
5. How many people does Jack kill?
6. Does the story hit the press at the end?
7. Does Jack remember to call Kim and explain that he might be a little late coming home?
8. How many minutes will be wasted watching President Taylor's moral anguish?
9. Will Cole "the side of righteousness seems so clear now that I've forgotten the guy I dumped in a river 12 hours ago" Ortiz shoot Jack?
10. Will Tony make an appearance?

Free Jack Mask and lifetime supply of cheap cell phones to the person with the most right.

B said...

Wow, get a load of all this intelligent and original discussion! I LIKE it! :)

Sunny said...

O.M.G. - this was amazing. Instead of viewer discretion advised, they should have a warning that Depends are required. That look of terror on Logan's face probably won Gregory Itzen an Emmy. He is an amazing actor. Bringing back Logan is what saved this season. The entire season (mostly lame) was redeemed by Darth Bauer vs. Logan.

Thomas said...

I really do not like what the writers have done to Jack's character over the past five hours or so. I do not mind Jack going over the edge, but in my opinion it has been done without a valid reason. Jack had no recent contact with Renee before this season began so her death does not work for me as a valid reason for Jack going over the edge.



I hope they end the season with Chloe killing Jack and Jack thanking her for ending it for him before he dies.

Granny Annie said...

Logic (what's that in 24?) tells me that Jack is leaving such a unforgiving train in these last two episodes that he must die at the season end. But that thing opposite of logic that runs the show tells me he'll barter with President Taylor "I'll keep your secret if you'll cover up mine."

Anonymous said...

pew pew pew

http://shop.ehobbyasia.com/combat-gears/headwear-masks/ea-army-of-two-plastic-full-face-mask-bk-original.html

Anonymous said...

My only complaint with this episode is that Jack changed out of his badass RoboJack combat gear before heading over to take out Novakovich.

First of all, it was indicated by his ploy to get into the receiving area of that restaurant that it wasn't that easy for a wanted felon to find a convenient changing room.

Secondly, WHY? Seriously, why the hell would he change out of protective gear before taking on the Russians?

Stupid...just plain stupid. Of course, they needed some way to amp up the drama (and make Jack more recognizable) by letting him get re-stabbed by (or, at least, reopening his earlier wound in the struggle with) the Russian guard.

Now we get the closing shot of a bloody wall as Jack moves to intercept Suvarov and exact some more revenge...oh, the humanity!

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud when Jack was firing up the tunnel and Logan responded "thats Jack Bauer" in an almost "idolized" sort of way. Logan, get over it, you're still alive, though you shouldn't be. Definitely one of the best episodes of the entire series. One that left me waiting for next week and lamenting the end of it all...

Anonymous said...

Okay, in response to my own post and quibble, I guess one could argue that Jack changed in order to be less conspicuous while traveling to take on Novakovich. However, he had stolen an SUV and had it parked somewhere.

I still argue he could have retained the body armour, donned his jacket, and moved on. Hell, he was headed for an underground parking garage apparently so I doubt he would have been all that public in transit or upon arrival...

Anonymous said...

I really don't see how there can be any redemption for Jack. He clearly wants to die. Was the lady he knew for two days really that much more important to him than Kim and Teri?

55 said...

You guys keep saying it's just about Renee. It might be, but it's probably also about bringing down the institutions that have betrayed him consistently over the last eight seasons (I made a list on here recently). It's just his version of justice and he might think it's worth dying for.

420 said...

I love the direction of jack's character. I don't understand how anyone would expect a rosey happy ending for Jack bauer. It just can't happen. When has there ever been a happy ending in 24?

It wasn't Renee's death that pushed Jack over the edge. It was the governments willfulness (yet again) to not do that right thing and only care about their power and political gain. Times like this make me wish David Palmer was around. In that CTU meeting with Taylor, if that was Palmer, he would have given Jack the green light to solve the conspiracy while Palmer handled the situation on the office.

Look back at season 7, the government had Jack on trial to put him away for all he has done for this pathetic country. Jack in the end of that season, was turning a different leaf. He was actually starting to believe their BS that he was the one doing things the wrong way. And while he was beginning to accept life after CTU, he gets pulled back in, only to lose a fellow soldier whom he began to have feelings for, and get screwed by the govt again after helping them.

That was enough to say screw it all. He's not the villian. I don't see Jack as the villian. He's still the anti-hero in my eyes. I say anti hero because a majority of people don't like the way he's going about it, but deep down they know it's right.

It's right to go after the ones with evil intentions and expose all the enablers along the way. So with that said, I'm all for Jack creating world war 3 if it meant that he took out the ones behind this helluva day and the ones who tried to cover it up. The destruction of the world may be the only way to make this world a better place in the future.

Di Archangel said...

Like an idiot I did not record last night's episode. Oh, I watched it, but now I am regretting not having the audio for what should be every 24 fan's cell phone ring: Charles Logan screaming, "It's Jack Bauer! It's Jack Bauer! It's Jack Baaaaaueeer!" You could taste his fear and it was delicious.

Jr. said...

the way the last episodes are going the only way this ends realistically is if Jack dies at the end. but this being 24 a realitic ending isnt gonna happen.

EugĆŖnio Hertz said...

All i saw was JASON, hunting his new victim.
Logan was scared like friday the 13th.

BUT... enough of this crap, what the fuck is gonna happen now?

For the fuckin sakes, will Bauer die in the last second?

Wish he could finish like a legend, in the same way the guy from JFK became, instead of cliche-SHIT screenplays where the fuckin dog dies to ressurect the patriotic spirit... FUCK THAT DAMN, no one is willing to die for a any stupid shit.

I dont wanna see Bauer die! PERIOD!!!!

Matt said...

Mask - http://www.airsoftpost.com/product_info.php?cPath=30_154&products_id=29787

B said...

Holy crap, where did all of this new blood come from?

AWE --- SOME.

And seriously, if any of you wanna share how you stumbled across The Jack Sack this week, I'd love to hear. Other than that, welcome to our humble abode! You may have joined us in the last 2 hours of the series, but better late than never. :)

Di Archangel said...

Been reading for awhile, it's just last night was so freaking cool I had to post. That's Jack Bauer!!!! It was like Don Knotts just saw Michael Myers. Truly classic.

420 said...

This morning I did a google search "24 season 8 1pm - 2pm reviews" and this was one of the first sites that came up. I never searched for a message board for 24. But after last nights EPIC episode, I had to see what all the fans were saying.

Spencer said...

Response to the quiz

1.(Does Jack live?) I'm 98% sure he won't die, but if so, that would be the most brilliant, unimaginably awesome and sneaky thing in the history of television leaking. What better way to end 24, than for the writers to spin spoiler leaks against it's head? But I think he'll live. Just an instinct.

2.(Does Logan live?) It's really 50/50, but I'm going to go ahead and say no.

3.(Does Yuri live?) I hate Yuri. Who cares?

4.(Does Taylor live?) Aw darn, another 50/50. According to the actress(spoiler), Alision will not get through the season "unscathed", but I don't see anyone shooting her except Jack, and I can barely stand the image of that. And they already pulled the heart attack thing with Kanin, so I'm going to go ahead and say yes.

5.(How many people does Jack kill?) 24

6.(Does the story hit the press at the end?) Of course! The press is the most unstopable antagonist in the series!

7.(Does Jack remember to call Kim and explain that he might be a little late coming home?) Kim's not going to be in the finale. You could technically call that a spoiler, but I don't want you to get your hopes up, and apparently, neither do the writers.

8.(How many minutes will be wasted watching President Taylor's moral anguish?) At least 5. Remember the end of last season?

9.(Will Cole "the side of righteousness seems so clear now that I've forgotten the guy I dumped in a river 12 hours ago" Ortiz shoot Jack?)
I have a feeling there will be a Cole/Ricker face off, but Chloe will probably shoot Jack.

10.(Will Tony make an appearance?) No, but that would be AWESOME!

Spencer said...

@Brittany - I wouldn't worry about your posts as long as they eventually come up. It takes a little while for my posts to come up, too.

Sunny said...

I think it is very possible Jack will die. He even gives us hint when Mr. Blonde warns Jack if he goes after Logan he can't go back. Jack says he's not planning on coming back. I believe the 24 movie will be a prequel prior to Day 1 of the series.

Cirroc said...

...it was confusing to me to see 'Iron Jack 2' already on TV, with Jack Stark donning his black stealth armor to catch the man behind his subpoena to testify before the Senate.....

John Michael Davis said...

I am not upset by this hour at all.

1. Taylor will come to her senses very soon.
2. Jack is not the bad guy.
3. Robo Jack is awsome.

You bring up a great point... Jack has lost all sight of his family... he is in the zone.. he doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet realizes that he is in all the way.. at the beginning of this day he wasn't.. I look at it not as a gradual loss of humanity but a gradual movement into his true ability as the warrior he is.. like the slow revealing in the unforgiven as the true William 'Bill' Munny finally is shaken loose for his conservative and wise shell, even using the same poetic "go to Hell -> you first" verse Exchange..

Jack doesn't want to die... he is ready to die and accepted that likely he will.. there is a large difference..

I think the writers have done a great job in utilizing Jack's entire skill set through the last few hours, including those skills that he has picked up over the past few seasons in taking us to places that perhaps we didn't get to see in between the hours that we have.

Is Jack going to Die, "its merely a flesh wound"

Sunny said...

@ Ozogo - I agree with your statement that Jack doesn't want to die, but he is ready to die. That is the makeup of a true hero.

Spencer said...

*****SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS*****

Jack dies, Cole(after taking a crap that he felt like he needed to do since the first episode) losses his virginity to Arlo, who also losses his virginty, Logan shoots Chloe multiple times in the stomache, but she just gets back up laughs, and says "Bitch! You think you can kill me? I'm fucking Chloe!" and then shoots Logan in the face, but not before he impersonates the Emperor from Star Wars.

Kim comes in with a sign that says "I was just kidnapped and rescued, so there ya go." and then takes all of her clothes off, Allison stops orgasiming for the first time in 6 years, and Henry comes back just to say "God help you." again.

B said...

Spencer...you sound a little bit like our friend the Ice Man (Cave Man?), Cirroc.

Unknown said...

Wow, I can't believe that this post is still going strong. What an incredible episode.

I must say, the amount of action is getting too surreal, but I'm not complaining. Jack flipping out over Renee's death, I agree, they weren't that close. Maybe if the writers would have hinted to them spending more time together between the seasons, I could believe it more.

I must also say that most of us forget about the time. Renee just died 5 hours. Jack is still emotional (and angry) over her death. Even if the relationship didn't exists, the Russians took away Jack's potential to happy and for that, They must die.

When Jack said that he didn't plan to come back, I think he was acknowledging that he may die or suggesting that he plans to leave the country and hide or fake his death and take on an Alias. It wouldn't be the first time (Redemption, season 2,season 5).

In this case, the movie would probably give incentive for Jack to "resurface" to save the day.

I enjoyed when Jack Vader was entering the tunnel and Secret Service was shooting at him. There was one part when the guy shot Jack in the chest and it twisted his body and Jack just continued to "subdue" secret service. It reminded me of the zombie movies where they shoot the zombie with a double gage shottie and the zombie just stumbles back a little bit and continues coming for you.

And who can forget, "Thats Jack Bauer! And he's coming for me!" I wonder how Gregory prepared for that line. I'm sure he had to go to a real dark place in his mind.

B said...

I'm sure he had to go to a real dark place in his mind.

He he hee. It was lovely. Wonderful. (Dare I even say beautiful? Not my typical description of Gregory Itzin, but that was some good acting.)

What a delightful scene. I smile every time I imagine it. It'll never get old. :) (@Alexander)

TheJackSack said...

@Alexander & Brittany- what's also great about Logan's line is that it reveals a lot about his character- he assumes Jack has come to kill him, even though that was never Jack's goal. Logan tries to kill anyone who threatens him, but he doesn't understand Jack's motives at all- because Logan is without honor or morals.

What a great character moment.

B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sunny said...

I'm thinking Renee was the best sex Jack has ever had. You don't take anything away from Jack, especially a good $%*@.

Gregory Itzen was amazing from the moment he donned his red power tie, to the moment he was talking to Suvarov on his cell phone as they rolled him away on the gurney. An Emmy is out there with his name on it.

Anonymous said...

loved your synopses / review. made me chuckle :D. I've linked to it on our site, 24fans, hope you don't mind.
@sunny: as much as i hate the logan character, itzin was indeed great. he makes my blood boil. lol.

JT said...

This show continues to surprise. Many questions for the finale. Will Aaron Pierce show up? Who survives? etc.

Just a reminder regarding comments about (not) contacting or mentioning Kim: it's been an overnight and part of one day since he saw her. That's it.

Also, each season is one day, but there have been huge time gaps between those days. For example, while Jack was in "prison" overseas. I suspect he had had plenty of time with Renee since the previous season.

B said...

Actually, JT, it was established that Renee wouldn't return Jack's phone calls after the events of Day 7, so they had no contact from the time they parted ways on that day until he walked in on her in the conference room on Day 8.

(If that's what you were getting at.)

Too bad, in my opinion. :(

B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
B said...

P.S. Aw, crap, I wrote a novel again. I never really can tell how long it's going to be until I click "Post." Sorry, guys.

Sunny said...

@ Brittany - I was sort of being tongue in cheek with my comment. That being said Jack and Renee had spent less than 48 hours with each other. I believe in infatuation/smitten at first sight, chemisty/hot sex at first sight, but not sure about knowing someone well enough to be in love with them that quickly. But I do believe that once igniting the infatuation/hot sex that love can soon grow.

There nothing wrong with being an optimistic, starry-eyed dreamer. I would love to see Jack happy. I know everyone hated Audrey because she was trying to change Jack. But he did love her. I always hoped they would get back together. Too bad she turned into an eggplant.

Anonymous said...

If any of you have had a chance to see the latest scene maker the director of the last episode, Milan, states that "Jack is seeking revenge for his love."

B said...
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55 said...

They didn't say Jack never talked to Renee after Day 7, just that she made it very difficult.

Also, again, it's not just about Renee. Yeesh. It's about Renee AND the government screwing him over yet again. He's thinking, "Why should I risk my life over and over again for the institutions that have betrayed me consistently?" And now he wants to punish them for it.

J. Todd Hatcher said...

^^ What 55 said. Renee was motivation ("I need to make them pay") but it's about more than that.

4decker said...

What do you think of the Ballistic Face Mask Level IIIA at http://www.spymall.com/catalog/armor-index.htm? I think it is similar, but not the original Darth Bauer mask. I'll keep looking . . .

4decker said...

This plastic mask is close enough (and cheap enough) for a Halloween costume. Too bad it is out of stock (24 fans must have already snapped them all up.): http://shop.ehobbyasia.com/combat-gears/headwear-masks/ea-army-of-two-plastic-full-face-mask-bk-original.html

4decker said...

Darth Bauer Halloween Mask available! (Or reasonable facsimile) at: http://www.ebairsoft.com/army-hard-plastic-mask-black-p-2261.html

Brian Pelts said...

Dudes, I get what you're saying about Jack feeling betrayed by 'Merica, but gutting a dude doesn't say "My government is broken," it says "YOU FUCKING FUCKER YOU SHOT MY CRAZY-ASS GIRLFRIEND STABBY STABBY STABBY".

Dietcoke said...

It's interesting how Jack's revenge kills have changed him over the years. In season one after Jack kills Drazen he weeps. By season five Jack coldly kills Palmer's assassin and doesn't bat an eye. Now we see from the preview that Jack is about to kill someone and he smiles. He's actually looking forward to taking someone out.

Sunny said...

I'm looking forward to rewatching the previous seasons to see how Jack has changed over the years.

I've read elsewhere that the screenplay for the movie is complete but Kiefer hasn't read it yet. If Keifer approves they say we should have a movie in the near future. I also heard it will take place in Europe. Does anyone else have any more info on this? I would love to see Jack on IMAX - that would be awesome.

B said...

Pelty, you don't even know how much I love, love, LOVE it that you called Renee Jack's crazy-ass girlfriend. I'm not even kidding.

That being said, @55, Hatch, 420, and various others aboard the "it's all about the government" boat -- you do have some truly legitimate points. I wanted to ping-pong off some of them but I gotta go for now, so fingers crossed (well, for my sake, maybe not for those sick of hearing me blab ;) ) I'll circle back to that later.

Sunny said...

@ Adam - I hope your new job is writing the screenplays for the upcoming 24 movies. Just sayin'...

B said...

Agreed! (re: the new job)

MarcAntony said...

Bravo! Brilliant review! Excellent writing!

Cirroc said...

@Cirroc - ...."don't mention Renee's death to Jack!!! ...I mentioned it, but I think I got away with it......."

- Basil Almeida

diarchangel said...

Can't wait for Monday night!!! Will they find the hillbilly in the heating vent? I can't watch an hour without wondering what stage of decomposition that fat b$%strd is in.

Sunny said...

DiArchangel - I keep thinking the same thing about the body in the air vent. But then I remember it has been less than 24 hours that he has been in there. Hopefully it is a/c and not heat coming outta that thing.

Spencer said...

Damn, look at all the comments. It'll probably get to 100 in a few hours. I think a lot of people are in love with you, Adam. They want your Jack Sack.

By the way, is anyone else gonna watch Lost tonight just for the sake of it? It's funny how that's ending tonight and 24's ending tommorrow. Am I the only person that plans to record the last 10 seconds as a historic moment in hopes to get more ratings on You Tube? (Yikes, I should keep my mouth shut. Someone might steal my idea.)

B said...

I think a lot of people are in love with you, Adam. They want your Jack Sack. He he he. Yes, Adam, if the popularity of this site and the loyalty of your readers don't do wonders for your self-esteem, then I don't know what could.

Speaking of Adam. Re: your comment about Logan always trying to kill those who threaten him v. Jack only killing when necessary - how do you dooo that? I mean, take something so small (Logan's conviction that he was toast), and suck such great insight out of it? All the time! Ughhh. You make me feel like a simpleminded dunce in comparison, who doesn't know how to do anything but babble about my fangirl crush on Jack Bauer and *pretend* to stick in some intelligent thought every now and then for variety.

Switching gears.
@Cirroc - You are such a weirdo! And I say that with ALL due respect and camaraderie. :) :)

@Di Archangel - He he he. Gross. I wonder if they'll even bother to write in the hefty corpse's discovery, since I don't see what it could do to further the plot. His killer's true colors are old news and they've only got 2 hours left to cram in ANYTHING else EVER (::!HYPERVENTILATE!::). So you know what, I just decided - I hope they let him chillax in that vent for the next 2 hours so they don't take screen time away from J.B. himself.

@Spencer - Lost? Lost??? What in the world are you talking about? I think I've heard of this "Lost" you speak of, but the only show I've been aware of for the past five years is 24, so no, I won't be watching this "Lost" show tonight. (On the plus side, I also won't steal your idea.)

Now on to that "intelligent" topic I had wanted to reflect on.... (Why do I feel like a kid in school being compelled to write an essay?)

B said...

P.S. - YEEP. I just did a Ctrl+F search for my name and it appears 21 times on this page. I think that's a PR. Obsessive much? Um. ::coughfreakcough::

TheJackSack said...

@Brittany & Co.- The feedback you've all given me is hugely rewarding, I am very grateful for your loyalty to this site and your kind words.

@Brittany in particular: Don't sell yourself short- you've made a ton of great observations over these past weeks. You've raised the bar here.

B said...

Hah - "Brittany & Co."! I have a "Co."! That gives me a chuckle.

And GUESS WHAT, this is the 99th comment for this review! Not that it's just about quantity, because the quality is here, too. Holy crap, guys, does this operation ROCK, or what! :)

::wanders off to continue writing and stalking The Jack Sack like a crazy maniac::

TheJackSack said...

#100- Bravo, people-- most commented-on article in the blog's history (so far). Why do I have a feeling tomorrow night's post is going to get a few more posts...

Spencer said...

@Brittany - Will you stop being down on yourself? I can't stand that! What's important is the effort, not the result.

By the way, 100th comment! HAHA! Ya know, I think I deserve a lot of credit for the amount of comments being this high, considering I've written about 25% of them, and 15% of the other comments being replys to my comments. (So what if I'm not a math magician. If you don't like it, fuck off and go watch Numbers.)

J. Todd Hatcher said...

Tomorrow may have 100 before the night is even over!

Spencer said...

Adam, you're evil!! That was supposed to be my post! I didn't see yours before I wrote it. Damn, you took away the legendery possition of the first 100th post on your site. Why, just why?

B said...

Why, just why?

Um....because he's Adam, and it's his site???

Just a thought.

Spencer said...

@Brittany - Yeah, but...he's already popular. The first 100th comment would be historic, but he's already historic.

Hmph. I personally think he just can't get enough attention.

Spencer said...

Christ, I'm joking, people.

TheJackSack said...

@Spencer- you're the first 101st comment ever!

Spencer said...

@Adam- Indeed. "sniff" I will try my best to look at this on a more positive light.

Well, let's face it Adam, it isn't just your Jack Sack that's responsible for there being 100 posts. Tommorrow's the big night, and everyone's gonna be talking.

Today is also going to be a big night, though not as big. And call me crazy, but I can't help but feel that Lost might beat Mash for most watched finale. I'm just throwing that possibility out there.

What if Lost became the most watched series finale after tonight, but 24 beats it tommrrow?

TheJackSack said...

@Spencer- I'll be watching LOST tonight, but I admit that I stopped watching the show years ago. I don't know if it will beat M*A*S*H* but I believe even past viewers like myself will show up tonight to see the end.

Spencer said...

@Adam- Dude, you have nothing to admit. I haven't watched an episode since the finale of last season. (Though I have kept updated on what's been going on, thanks to Lostpedia.)

My guesses on what happens? It won't resolve all of the mysteries.

J. Todd Hatcher said...

Can I just point out how bogus it is that 24 isn't getting ANY promotion like LOST? I know, they only decided it was gonna be the last season halfway into this year, and not 2 years ago like LOST. But for God's sake, this is a revolutionary, groundbreaking show that's been on for almost a decade. "Reflection" episodes, re-airing the pilot, epic reflective commercials. ABC knows how to market. Screw Fox.

B said...
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B said...

-alright, phase 1 of the continuance-

Alright, Point #1: “The Happy Ending.”
Many readers have expressed their belief that it would’ve been preposterous for Jack to walk away after these 8 days with any semblance of a happy ending.
@55 said, “This show has never been about giving fans the happy ending that they want. Never. If it was, they wouldn't have killed off Teri or David Palmer, and they wouldn't have turned Tony into a criminal. The real world sucks and is depressing and not everyone gets redeemed. It fits right in with what the writers have always done.”
Okay those things happened a long time ago, and in my opinion they have more to do with the development of the series than with the ending (you could try to argue “continuity” but with what the writers have been doing lately, they’ve pretty much killed your argument). And while the real world may be one giantic globe of suck, redemption still at least exists in the real world, for some people. In this show it’s like a foreign, nonexistent, imaginary concept. They make redemption seem about as tangible as unicorns and pixie dust. And regarding “what the writers have always done…” In my opinion, the central element the writers have always sought was the characterization of Jack as an inspiringly (self-sacrificing) ass-kicking mofo. The element of brokenness has been there almost from the beginning, but as I see it this is a secondary element, less crucial than the primary one, and as such the series could’ve ended without it and not suffered a loss of perceived congruity. As long as Jack continued to kick ass and save people, I think he could’ve been at least a little bit happy and it still would’ve “worked.”

@Anonymous said, “ There is no way the series could end on a positive note for Jack. I just can't see him as one of those heroes riding off into the sunset...” and @Dietcoke replied, “ I don't think many people, certainly not me, expected or even wanted Jack to ride off into the sunset. It just wouldn't work for the show IMHO. I would have expected that they would have kept the character of Jack the same and not made him insane.” To Dietcoke I say: YES. WORD to the last sentence. Could not agree with you more. Well, wait. Maybe I could. I’m not sure whether or not Jack is indeed nuts, I think we have to wait to see how the last 2 hours pan out to reach that conclusion. But other than that. Agree. Could’ve found some happy medium between riding off into the sunset and going off the deep end of doom.

@420 said, “ I don't understand how anyone would expect a rosey happy ending for Jack bauer. It just can't happen. When has there ever been a happy ending in 24?” My response: There IS a spectrum, you know. There aren’t just two polar opposites of “rosey happy ending riding off into the sunset” and “completely broken, despairing, wrecked.” SHADES OF GRAY, my friend.

---NOTE--- Oops! So I totally just took an hour and a half break to go to the ice cream place, and this is what I had written up until that point. I barely even got through the 1st of my 3 “points,” so yes, I admit that I’m slow and way too verbose as it is. And the fail award goes to me. In my defense, again, I blame the heat. And the fact that I simply can't figure out how to say anything in less than "way-too-many" words. And the heat. (Shutting up now.)

Sunny said...

@ Brittany - Jack’s ape-shit balls-to-the-walls scary Darth Bauer mode

OMG, that just says it all. You go Brittany and keep 'em coming.

B said...

Ha ha. :) Well thanks for the thumbs up, Sunny! It does make me feel better knowing that not everybody out there is super annoyed by my excessive commenting. But that's all I've got so far! Like I said - The ice cream place. The heat. The slowness. (Shrug.)

Spencer said...

@Brittany - Shut up and stop criticising yourself. Your opinions are deep and insightful, and those are things that are hard to find on the damn internet. I type just as much and am just a annoying as you, and you likely have more of a life than I have. So will ya stop beating youself up already?

B said...

LAST 24 MONDAY EVER.

Just had to say it.

And Hatch, yeah I guess Fox HAS sucked at promoting this. And Spencer...um, thanks.

Sunny said...

I am excited and sad all rolled into one. I type this a little misty-eyed. The showrunners have promised more surprises tonight.

@ Brittany - I don't think 24 has as wide a viewing audience as Lost or MASH. I only know 1 other person in real life that watches the show. I guess that is why I spend so much time on the internet chatting with other fans.

Dr. Alice said...

Well, I finally saw this episode last night and I have to admit I fast forwarded through a lot of it. I have never before done that with an episode of 24.

I was going to post a long comment but you know, I just don't care enough anymore to put the energy into it. So:

- disappointed overall.
- word to the Jack as broken, insane killing machine development. Bleah.
- Gregory Itzin great as usual.

Anonymous said...

Watch the season finale of day 6 (especially jack's speech to heller) if you want to understand why he's doing it. It makes perfect sense. The killing may be over the top but his motives are rational.

DiArchangel said...

Hey all, NPR's Here and Now started with a wonderful "medly" of Jack threats ending with Logan's "..that's Jack Bauer and he's coming for meeeee!" http://www.hereandnow.org/ scroll down a bit and click. At noon they're interviewing the show's E.P.

Brian Pelts said...

For everyone on Twitter, Mary Lynn Rajskub will be live-tweeting the finale tonight & answering questions. Just use the hashtag #dammitchloe on your Tweets. :)

Brian Pelts said...

Also, MLR will continue to be owning my heart.

Spencer said...

@Brittany - You're the one that keeps beating yourself up. There's nothing wrong with being interesting. I'm taking the risk of looking crazy and weird just to explain that to you.

Anyway, guys...we should really start disscussing 24 for the last few hours before the series ends. After that, things will never be the same.

B said...

HOLY SHIT I just remembered that it starts at 8 instead of nine. Well frick, that's an important detail. Just imagine how PISSED you'd be to sit down for the last 2 hours only to realize that you've missed half. Suck!

@Sunny - I know, right?! The only reason my friends know how AWESOME 24 and Jack Bauer are is that I tell them about it incessantly. Alas, supportive though they may be, they never actually WATCH it. :( So yes, internet people are fun to fan with! :) It's funner to gush in groups!

@Pelty - Is it terribly warped that I feel like I haven't heard from you in forever? Ah...I'm obsessed with this website. ANYHOW, I just gotta say WORD on the "MLR" thing, b/c Chloe is so supremely awesome how can the actress who brings her to life NOT be? (In fact, I think she may be even quirkier than her character, no? I've seen her in some pretty weird things...)

@Spencer - Yeah, IknowIknowIknow, I don't mean to drag the quality out of this site down with my consant bellyaching but I'm REALLY in the habit of it. I'll try to cut back.

@The World - Bring it oooon, Bitches! Two more hours of 24 Jack Bauer television magic EVER!
Now, please excuse me while I go frantically shower and do laundry since I just realized I've only got an HOUR before the big event. (Gah!) And commence the night of adrenaline...NOW.

B said...

P.S. Flipping out, Flipping out, Flipping flipping flipping out.

Sunny said...

@ Brittany - you are making me LOL. Don't ever change.

I am making baby back ribs & ccrn on the cob for the big night. No alcohol for me because I have to go to work tonorrow.

B said...

AH!!! Sounds like fun. I am too lazy to make real food. I'm drinking a soda, and I'm pretty sure I ate some chips earlier. (:\?:)) But good for you for going all out to make the big night even more fun! :) And alas, work. :[ It should just be canceled tomorrow. (Especially with all those “Jack Bauer drinking games”… ;) )

P.S. - If they kill Chloe tonight I swear I'm gonna rip Howard Gordon's head off. --Wait, that sounds psychotic and illegal.
I'm gonna make a little doll of him and rip ITS head off. --Wait, that sounds equally psychotic and like Voodoo.
I'm gonna be REALLY mad.


Heeeere weeee gooooooooo! Takeoff.

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